Dreaming with a Broken Heart
by Aurora20
Summary: Irina and Jack after season 4 finale. SV and NW included.
1. Chapter 1

-1Disclaimer: Thankfully I don't own Alias (the way they destroyed the show I can't even stand it)

Takes place after Season 4 Finale and as it would turn out to be for me the series finale of Alias. It's a little choppy but so was the show and many questions get answered those that don't I'm sure it won't be a big deal.

Jack stood standing against a pillar with a cocktail in his hand at the pharmaceutical gala he infiltrated in Milan to get the cure for Nadia. He smiled politely at the idle chat of the woman who had came up to talk with him but gave curt responses to her comments. He didn't have to go on the mission. He probably shouldn't have. As the new director of APO he was expected to remain at the office but it wasn't even a week after Sovogda and he knew Sydney needed time at home and he would trust no one else with saving Nadia. But Sydney wasn't his only reason for coming. He knew that someone else wouldn't leave Nadia's safety to a stranger either.

And there she was. Jack felt his chest tighten as he saw Irina enter the building. She was wearing a gold dress that revealed her back, her hair was pulled up and she wore that smile that made him forget everything else in the world. He watched as she signed in and began flirting with one of the company's executives. Jack felt a twinge of jealousy emerge and an urge to punch the man who had his hand resting on Irina's arm. As Jack boiled with frustration Irina turned in to his direction and caught his eye. She laughed shaking her head as she excused herself.

"What are you doing here…..Brian?" Irina asked strutting over to Jack and reading his tag. "You really don't look like a Brian," she whispered seductively.

"I imagine I'm here for the same reason you are….Felicity," Jack replied raising an eyebrow knowingly.

"Is he here yet?"

"No," Jack said looking around and shaking his head slightly.

"Good."

"Good?" Jack asked confused.

"We can be together a bit longer." Irina said with a sparkle in her eye.

"You look good," Jack complimented.

"Thank you. So do you. Except -" Irina said adjusting his tie and brushing the invisible specks from his suit. "There you go. Much better."

"People are staring," Jack whispered as he looked around at people watching them. He couldn't blame them. Irina looked radiant and she always stood out in a room. When they were younger he relished in it. He loved that everyone noticed her and watched him enviously - as she belonged to him. And he had always felt so fortunate that such an amazing woman wanted him. He still couldn't help but feel that way at times. But tonight they had a job to do and standing out didn't help.

"Do you want to dance?" Irina asked ignoring his comment.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Why not?" Irina asked with a shrug leading him over to the dance floor.

Irina fell closely in to Jack's arms and Jack felt over come with guilt as he felt Irina's ivory skin beneath his fingers and inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine. He remembered the last time they had danced or that he felt it was her he was dancing with. He couldn't understand how he hadn't known the difference. How he had made such a mistake before. Holding Irina in his arms everything felt right, they fit together perfectly. She completed him and he knew it whether or not he had always been able to admit it.

Irina had longed to be in his arms during her months of captivity and now it felt perfect. She hated knowing that she would have to leave again. She hated leaving - it was easier now that she knew he understood and would be there but she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to leave him or her girls but she had made her choices and had to accept the consequences.

Irina held on to her final moments with Jack as the song came to an end but their time ended prematurely as Irina spotted their target.

"He's here."


	2. Chapter 2

-1It wasn't hard to get the cure for Nadia. Far more easier than either expected. The head of the corporation found "Felicity" and vodka very enjoyable. He was easy to get drunk and once that was accomplished Irina convinced him to give him a tour of his beautiful facility. Jack discretely followed and as Irina slyly distracted the man Jack got the drug and left. Irina was able to escape soon after and with a few hours before Jack needed to leave they decided to make the most of their time together.

"You have to leave soon," Irina said sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed.

"I have almost an hour," Jack reminded running his hand threw her hair and down her back. Jack paused when he noticed scars he hadn't seen before. He suddenly remembered the pain and suffering she endured from Elena and partially because of him. As he had felt Sydney had needed rest he remembered that Irina needed more. "Are you in pain?"

"What?" Irina asked distantly lost in her thoughts and the sensation of Jack's touch.

"I didn't notice your scars before," Jack said inspecting the bruises that had previously been covered by clothing.

"It's fine," Irina said tensing up as memories of her time as Elena's prisoner flooded her mind.

"It will be. We've been through worse."

Jack sensed she was lying. He remembered watching her recount Elena's torture to Sydney on the plane. He knew what they both had been through in the past but he could tell that it had been worse for her if only because it was her sister who was causing the pain.

"I need for you to know something Jack," Irina began taking a deep breath and keeping her back to him. "I didn't lie to you before when I said I had been faithful. I never cheated on you. I never slept with Arvin. He learned the truth and he threatened me. I couldn't let him tell - it would have destroyed everything and not just my cover but our lives. If the KGB learned my cover was blown they would have killed us all. I hated him. I always had. He came over when you were away and….I drugged him. I arranged it so it looked like we had….I don't know why but when he learned about Nadia he assumed that she was his."

"I didn't know I was pregnant until after I left. The thought subconsciously crossed my mind but I knew that everything I had was about to be taken from me and I couldn't give it enough attention. It was probably fortunate that I didn't because they would have never let me have another child. I was able to hold off for long enough so I could give birth but they took her. I looked for years trying to find her. But I couldn't. I couldn't find her Jack."

"Irina" Jack said softly sitting up and moving over to her. "I know you did everything you could. Nadia knows that too."

"I love you so much." Irina said pushing her hair behind her ears and continuing to avoid Jack's gaze.

"I love you too." Jack said tenderly kissing her shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

-1Sydney walked nervously down the hospital corridor. She had tried calling her father all day but he wouldn't answer and she was dying to know how the mission went. She also felt guilty for not having visited Nadia in a couple days. Vaughn had suggested they get away for the weekend and as concerned as she was for Nadia she desperately wanted to get away for awhile.

Walking over to the nurse's station Sydney looked for a familiar face but saw no one and stopped the first person who walked by.

"Excuse me can you tell me how Nadia Santos is doing?"

"She's fine. The doctors were able to give her medicine that appears to be working. She's still in the coma but they are hoping to wake her soon. Her father is with her now" the young woman said cheerfully.

"What?" Sydney asked turning white.

"He's been with her since late last night. It's really sweet actually."

"Excuse me," Sydney said rushing past the nurse and down to Nadia's room ready to rush in when she paused by the glass window and saw her father sitting beside Nadia's bed.

Jack had barely left Nadia's side since he had returned from Milan. It had been hard for him to watch Irina leave again but there was nothing he could do about that and instead he decided to focus on the girls he could have.

He took it upon himself to correct Nadia's medical files with the appropriate medical history, he told the staff that he wanted to remain updated on her condition and then he sat in the chair next to her bed waiting for her to wake up.

Watching her Jack noticed things about her he never had before. He realized that Nadia was a lot like him. Sydney was Irina to the core, it had been what made raising her so difficult after Irina had left. Examining Nadia Jack could see a lot of himself. Nadia's features were round like his and dark like his use to be. She was gentle and naive about many things a characteristic he regretfully could recognize in himself. But he was glad to say that she was also strong, resilient, determined and dedicated to those she loved. He remembered how devastated she had been to learn of Irina's death and her threats to him when she learned the truth.

Jack wondered how Nadia would react to learning that he was her father. He hated Sloane and knew what a horrible man he was but he knew that Nadia had believed he was her father and had cared for him regardless of his actions. Jack hoped that she would not be too hurt by the truth and would be open to the fact he was her father.

It pulled at his heart the fact that he was watching his daughter but barely knew her. It hurt knowing all that he had missed and he wondered what she had looked like growing up, what she had enjoyed and if she had been happy. It hurt him just as much to think that he had many of the same feelings in regards to Sydney.

"Dad?" Sydney called out cautiously as she entered Nadia's room.

"Syd," Jack replied forcing his attention from Nadia.

"What are you doing?"

Jack took a deep breath and looked from one daughter to another before standing up and ushering Sydney to the hall.

"The nurse said Nadia's father was in the room. I thought it was Sloane and-" Sydney quickly rambled. "Why did she say that?"

"I'm her father Sydney."

"What?!" Sydney replied shocked.

"I'm Nadia's father." Jack repeated unwillingly reverting in to case mode.

"But I thought Mom-"

"It's complicated but - no. Sloane is not Nadia's father."

"That's ….that's great!" Sydney exclaimed as the shock began to wear off. "That's amazing and wonderful! She'll be so relieved."

"Sydney," Jack interrupted in a warning tone. "Although we may be very happy that Sloane is not her father, you can't expect Nadia to feel the same way."

Sydney paused as she put herself in Nadia's shoes. She could hardly imagine what it would be like to learn that Jack wasn't her father and knew that her assumptions of how Nadia would feel couldn't come close to the real thing.

"You're going to tell her, right?"

"Of course," Jack said glancing over Sydney's shoulder of to Nadia. "But-"

"The truth takes time," Sydney completed sighing.

Jack couldn't help but smile at that. "Well, yes but I was going to say that I want to wait until she recovers a bit."

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Sydney replied watching her father's glance drift. "How are you doing? That's pretty big information."

"I'm fine."

Working against the odds Sydney decided to push a little harder to try and get a better sense of her father and his feelings.

"Are you happy?"

Jack paused and looked in to Sydney's eyes and saw the little girl she use to be. "I'm a lot of things. Your sister is wonderful and I'm proud she's my daughter but obviously it's difficult."

Sydney turned and looked over at her sister. "It's crazy to think of what we all missed. I always wanted a sister growing up. Thinking of what it would have been like…all of us….together…."

"Yeah," Jack replied distantly.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Jack waited a couple weeks after Nadia awoke before telling her the truth. He had thought about telling her sooner, he had wanted to and Sydney had wanted him to but he couldn't find the words. When he did they weren't very impressive. He had learned to be more "human" and sensitive over the past few years but he knew he had a long ways to go. Sydney was use to his awkwardness and could appreciate his advancements in the fathering department. He was starting off with no such standing in regards to Nadia and he knew he must be a disappointment; if for no other reason than he was the one to have to tell her the information and not Irina.

Nadia was shocked. She couldn't speak and when she tried she didn't know what to say. All the answers she thought she had about life were suddenly gone and she was again starting over. After everything that she had experienced with Sloane and Jack she knew that she was better off. She was also glad to know she wasn't a product of an affair but of a marriage and from what she could gather from their brief time together a loving marriage.

Once the initial shock wore off Nadia was happy. She had a family - an unconventional one to be sure but a family and she wanted to know everything she could. She had spent a lot of time getting to know Sydney. She desperately wanted to get to know her mother but she knew that would have to wait and she was perfectly content at getting to know Jack. She was surprised and encouraged by the fact that he seemed to want to know her too.

Jack made a conscious effort to be there for Nadia. He set out time for them to have lunch or to stop by hers and Sydney's house to visit and learn more about her and to establish a relationship. It was hard at first. He was still trying to be a good father with Sydney and having to start fresh was a challenge. It was also difficult seeing and hearing all the things he missed but he learned to think of all the things they had to look forward to.

Nadia had plenty to look forward to. She knew that Jack was a private man and that they were both in new territory. She was happy to tell him about herself but what she really wanted to know was about him. More specifically his relationship with Irina. She started out slowly at dinners with the three of them asking about his childhood.

She knew some things from Sydney. She knew his parents were divorced. His father, Jim, was a sailor and a salesman, old fashioned, tough guy who didn't like to talk about things and was currently living in Detroit with Jack's younger sister. Jack's mother, Brooke, was his father's opposite, eccentric and outgoing, she had stayed at home and raised a family but then wanted more out of life. Jack had an older sister, Nancy, he wasn't close to and a younger sister, Cate, he was very close to.

Nadia was surprised at how open Jack was willing to be about his childhood and family life. She learned a lot of things she never would have associated with him; such as the fact he was a fan of baseball and Motown music and absolutely loved a beverage called Vernors' and a Sander's cream puff. She longed to meet his family but knew that it was unlikely and never dared to bring it up.

After waiting a couple weeks Nadia gathered the courage to asks some of the questions she really wanted answers to.

"So when did you and Mom meet?" Nadia asked handing Jack a glass of lemonade as she sat down at the dining room table.

Jack cleared his throat nervously at the unexpected question. He expected she would ask the question at some point but he hoped it would come later.

"In college," Jack replied. He hadn't planned on continuing but seeing the disappointment in Nadia's eyes he felt he must. "We had a class together. English. I wasn't good in it and she was, so she offered to tutor me."

"Really?" Nadia beamed at the first real conversation about her parents relationship.

"Yeah," Jack smiled, glad to see he could make her happy. "Ironically as it would turn out I wasn't nearly as bad in English as she thought, I just happened to find her very distracting and when she offered to help I couldn't resist."

"Was it love at first sight?"

"Obviously I can't speak for Irina but I wanted her very much from the moment I saw her."

"How did you propose? When?"

"A year after we met. There was a pavilion on campus. I set it up with flowers and candles one night…and music. We had fought all day - she was upset about a test and in general just irritable. She was annoying me so much I was going to change my mind but I forced her to come on a walk with me so that at midnight one year after we met I proposed."

Nadia sat and watched Jack he reflected on his time with Irina and answere all of her questions. She recalled their interaction she had witnessed and couldn't help but notice their bond.

"You still love her don't you."


	5. Chapter 5

-1Irina had hoped to rest after Milan but wasn't given a chance as she saw what chaos her organization was in. So instead of resting Irina was forced to go back to work. She didn't want to and her heart wasn't in it but she didn't know what else to do and so she did what she had always been good at: work.

Working wasn't easy. Where ever she was and whatever she did she thought of Jack and her girls. She had remained out of contact with Jack for two month and missed him. She was lonely. She wanted to be by people and went to a park.

It was an old habit of hers to go to the park and watch children play - particularly the young girls. She had done it often when she first left and imagined what Sydney and Nadia must and would be like. She had stopped for a long time but felt a sudden urge.

She sat on a bench for awhile before an older woman came and sat beside her.

"One of them yours?"

"No," Irina replied with a small, forced smile. "My girls are all grown up."

"Really? That's nice," the woman said unwrapping a candy. "But you want more children."

"No," Irina said shaking her head.

"Of course you do I can see it in your face. And I can sense it. I'm very good with these things."

"Believe me my child bearing days have come to an end long ago."

"You're wrong," the lady said standing up. "I can tell."


	6. Chapter 6

-1_"Where have you three been?" Irina asked taking Nadia from Jack's arms and giving him a kiss. "Hi Sweetheart."_

_"The video store."_

_"Where? In New York?" Irina said taking off Nadia's coat. "How was school Syd?"_

_"Great! I got an A on my book report and I get to take home Pumpkin next weekend."_

_"Pumpkin?" Jack asked setting down some bags. _

_"School hamster," Irina whispered quickly. "Wonderful Syd! We'll have to clear off some space in your room._

_"Can I play with Pumpkin?" Nadia asked smiling._

_"No," Sydney answered._

_"Sydney!" Jack scolded. _

_"She drops everything! She'll kill him."_

_"I will not." Nadia protested._

_"Will to."_

_"That's enough. Nadia will be careful when she holds him," Irina said tugging gently on Sydney's ponytail._

_"What's for dinner Irina I'm starving?" _

_"What would you like for _dinner?"

_"Pizza!" _

_"Peanut butter."_

_"I'll place the order." Jack said grabbing the number off the fridge. "What kind do we want?"_

_"Hawaiian." _

_"Hawaiian gross!" Sydney protested._

_"Hawaiian?" Jack asked. "You hate pineapples."_

_"I'm in the mood for something different."_

_"How about this? Hawaiian for Mom and Supreme for Syd and I and a peanut butter sandwich for Nadie."_

_"Sounds good." Irina approved, then turning her attention to her oldest daughter, "Sydney go upstairs and do your homework so we can all enjoy movie night."_

_"Okay," Sydney said grabbing her school bag. _

_"Can I help?" Nadia asked._

_"Sweetheart I don't think Sydn-"_

_"She can come Mom. I have to color some flash cards."_

_"Yeah!" Nadia said rushing to catch up to her sister._

_"Look at them," Jack said smiling._

_"They're perfect aren't they?" Irina commented walking over and wrapping her arms around Jack. "How was your day?"_

_"Uneventful. You?" Jack asked pulling Irina closely to him. _

_"Eventful."_

_"Really?" Jack asked quizzically._

_"I received a very interesting phone call from Dr. Novak's office."_

_"Dr. Novak?"_

_"I'm-"_


	7. Chapter 7

-1"Renie, Renie, Irina!"

Irina shot up rapidly, her heart pounding and beads of sweat falling from her face.

"Katya? What are you doing here?" Irina asked brushing her hands across her face trying to reorient herself to the time.

"How did you not hear me come in? You're losing your touch girlie." Katya said shoving Irina's feet off the couch and sitting down.

"Why did you wake me? I was having …." Irina trailed closing her eyes and trying to bring back her dream.

"What was it?"

"I don't remember …..exactly." Irina confessed shaking her head. "Why are you here?"

"Me?" Katya asked sarcastically. "I spend more time here then you do. Speaking of which, what are you doing in Petersburg?"

"I felt like coming home I guess."

"You know Auntie is in Moscow. She may pop over here after she's done."

"I know," Irina said getting up and walking over to the window. "Do you want my organization?"

"What?"

"I'm getting out. Do want it?"

"You went to a park didn't you?" Katya asked rolling her eyes.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because every time you go to the park you miss your family and you say you're going to get out."

"I mean it this time." Irina insisted.

"You say that too." Katya reminded.

"What are we doing? This isn't a life." Irina said frustrated.

"Ren-"

"No. What do we have? Money and power. That's not a life. Don't you want more?" Irina asked with tears in her eyes. "See, you don't know what it can be like. To have a family. I had it and I let them take it away and I let it go. I've wasted my life. I gave up everything that matters and for what? For nothing. I'm not happy. What I do have will mean nothing in the end."

"Have you been drinking?" Katya asked ignoring Irina's rant.

"No," Irina replied annoyed.

"Then you need a drink," Katya said walking over and pouring a couple glasses of vodka.

"I don't want to drink. I want another chance. I want to do the right thing. I'm giving up the business."

"Stop going to parks," Katya said firmly. "Buy yourself something nice. Kill someone. Steal something. Get laid."

"This isn't a life Katya. This isn't a life."


	8. Chapter 8

-1"Gigi!" Anastasia Romanov greeted as she entered the kitchen and saw Irina working at the counter.

"You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I know. That's why I do it."

"Why are you here? I thought you said you had to go to California to be with…what's his name?"

"Arnold and you know it." Anastasia replied. "And I am going but I thought I'd come and see for myself that you are actually alive."

"Here I am," Irina said with a small smile.

"I see." Anastasia commented examining her daughter. "You don't look that good."

"Thanks." Irina sighed already becoming annoyed with her mother. "When are you leaving again?"

"Now Gigi, I'd just as assume you wouldn't want me to go back to California." Anastasia said airily.

"Why should I care?" Irina scoffed.

" Don't be like that Irina." Anastasia sighed.

"Like what?"

"Like a child. Arnold's a good man."

"Dad was a wonderful man" Irina reminded.

"You know I love you father but he is gone and unlike you - I can't be alone," Anastasia saw Irina flinch at her comment. "I'm sorry. Dmitri died years ago and Arnold is good company. It's not like you're willing or able to spend all that much time with me."

"Whatever."

"Don't be a baby. Come here," Anastasia ordered. "Don't I get a hug?"

"Sure," Irina said walking over and embraced her mother. She felt an unexpected comfort from in her mother's arms but the embrace was short as Irina quickly pulled away. "What are you wearing?"

"What do you mean?"

"That smell?" Irina said rushing out of the kitchen.

"I like it. Arnold bought it for me." Anastasia said following Irina to the bathroom. "Although I'm sure you know that? "

Irina glared at Anastasia from the floor.

"It smells awful."

"You're really sick." Anastasia said concern ringing in her voice.

"You're quick."

"How long have you felt like this?" Anastasia asked bending over to kiss Irina's forehead. "A little warm but no fever. What did Elena do to you? Have you been to see a doctor?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Have you seen a doctor?"

"I don't need a doctor."

"You are just like your father. He refused to go to the doctor and he died for it," Anastasia reminded frustrated. "I just got you back and I'm not about to lose you again."

Irina looked at her mother and saw how upset she was and she remembered her father and her promise to take care of Anastasia.

"Fine. I'll make an appointment."

"I'll make the appointment," Anastasia corrected.

"I can use a phone. Don't you have a plane to catch?" Irina asked standing up.

"Please, I'm no fool. I'm taking you to the doctor."

"I'm not six."

"No but you act like it." Anastasia said grabbing her purse and heading for the door. "Get a coat if you want one."


	9. Chapter 9

-1"Here, take this," Anastasia said handing Irina a cup of tea. "How are you doing?"

"How do you think?" Irina replied not looking at her mother or anything in particularly, just out at open space.

"I'll go with you. I've rearrange my schedule. We'll have this taken care of and we'll do something. We haven't been to Livadia in years. Go enjoy the sun. You need some color."

"Go with me where?" Irina asked ignoring her mother's idle chat.

"To the doctor. To have this taken care of."

"There is nothing to take care of." Irina informed forcing herself back to reality.

"Irina," Anastasia begged. "Did you listen to the doctor?"

"Yes. I'm pregnant and the baby is fine."

"You did not listen to the doctor!" Anastasia cried. "Monika said that you will die if you go through with this"

"She did not. She said that there is a chance."

"A pretty damned good one."

"And if you would have asked her a couple months ago she would have said there was no chance for me to get pregnant but I am. Doctors don't know everything."

"Elena tortured you. You admitted that. You said she did things to your heart. Why risk it? You know you can't do this Irina." Anastasia protested.

"This is a miracle. This shouldn't have happened.-for so many reasons - but it did. I didn't even know and yet there has been this life growing inside me." Irina said rubbing her stomach.

"It's not a life Irina. Only the potential and not very good potential at that."

"It has heartbeat. You heard it."

"Sydney and Nadia have heartbeats. You have a heartbeat but you won't if you do this." Anastasia forcibly reminded.

"I know what I'm doing. I'm keeping this baby."

"Get some rest," Anastasia said raising to her feet and giving up for the evening. "You'll think more clearly in the morning."

"I'm thinking clearly now." Irina said looking at her mother for the first time that evening.

"Gigi…you always do this." Anastasia said shaking her head. "You'll change you mind."


	10. Chapter 10

-1"What are you doing up so early?" Anastasia asked walking in to the kitchen.

"I didn't go to sleep," Irina replied closing her laptop.

"Irina," Anastasia said sighing. "Don't do this."

"I've made so many bad choices in my life and I've sacrificed all the things that have ever mattered," Irina said shaking her head. "I'm not going to do it again."

Anastasia closed her eyes tightly and began. "What is your plan?"

"I don't know."

"Wonderful. When or what are you going to tell….that man."

"Jack, Mother," Irina reminded.

"I know his name," Anastasia said rolling her eyes.

"I don't know."

"You stayed up all night doing what exactly?" Anastasia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Thinking."

"I don't have time for your cryptic behavior Irina. And generally little patience. Clearly you're going through with this. What are you going to do? You want a fresh start? What does that mean?"

"It means I'm going to make my family my priority. Jack, Sydney, Nadia and this baby come first. I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to make sure they are safe."

"So you're going to tell them the truth?"

"Eventually."

"Do I have to remind you that you are working against the clock? You don't have all the time in the world anymore."

"Telling them the truth right now doesn't help anyone. I'm going to do what is best for them not what is best for me."

"What do you think that means?" Anastasia asked concerned.

"I'm going to stay away. I know the risks I'm taking with this pregnancy. Forming a relationship with my girls is just setting them up to be hurt more later. They've known their lives without me and for now that's best."

Ignoring the flaws in Irina's first plan Anastasia moved on to bigger points. "And….Jack? Are you going to tell him what you're doing?"

"No."

"Oh yes I see how you really want to turn over a new leaf Irina. You're not going to tell your daughters the truth about your life or let them know you or spend time with them. You're not going to be with your "husband" or tell him what an idiot you're being and telling him you're pregnant. What exactly are you doing differently? Because it seems to me you're doing everything all over again."

Irina glared at her mother and took a deep breath. "I'm not telling Jack because he would agree with you."

"Really? The man who set you up to be executed and shot you in the head?"

"Regardless of what you think Jack cares for me. He wouldn't want me to do this. But I know he'd want another chance to be a father. He was a wonderful father to Sydney but - because of me - he wasn't as good as he wanted to be. I could give him another chance."

"Gi-"

"Listen. Jack loves me. He can live without me now but if we spent this time together it would be hard for him if something happened to me. If he hates me-"

"Oh dear," Anastasia sighed frustrated. "Why would he hate you? Irina! Your hormones or Elena have clearly done some horrible things to your brain. You can't naturally be this stupid."

Irina sat silently for several minutes before taking a deep breath and beginning to speak. "I know what I'm doing. I've made up my mind."


	11. Chapter 11

-1She hadn't used her head. She acted impulsively. When Sark contacted her and told her Nadia was walking in to a trap she just thought of saving her daughter. She didn't have a well thought out exit and she forgot to account for her expectant child. She paused for a moment when Nadia was shot and allowed for a man to forcibly shove her against a wall. It was then that she remembered she was pregnant and lost all focus. She didn't plan on the CIA and was too preoccupied to strategize an escape. So she sat in a cell, once again a prisoner but this time it wasn't because she wanted to be. She didn't have the upper hand in fact she had all the disadvantages.

The only thing she could be fortunate about was the fact that her children had survived. Nadia was only shot in the shoulder and her miracle baby was still with her. The CIA was shocked when test results came back affirming her claim, they offered to let her stay in a hospital but she refused. It wouldn't make a difference and it would force her to tell Jack and her daughters - something she was not ready for.

She had learned she was pregnant a couple weeks earlier and still couldn't believe it nor did she know what to do. What she had known was that she didn't want to involve her family with it and that now appeared hopeless. She was forced to change her plans with her girls but she was not prepared to change her plans with Jack and so she told the CIA that she refused to speak with him. Having been captured she realized she had no real leverage but she assumed if nothing else he would hear of her refusal to see him.

"Mom?" Sydney said as she walked up to the prison bars.

"Sydney." Irina greeted walking over to her. "How's your sister?"

"She's fine. She'll go home later today. What happened? Why are you here?"

Irina was not about to release any information to Sydney in the eyes of the CIA but she did need to get a message out. She had one safety net she never wanted to or intended on using but she now had no choice.

"Do you still have the earrings I gave you?'

"Yeah," Sydney replied confused.

"Wear them for me."


	12. Chapter 12

-1"What are you doing?" Nadia asked walking over to the couch.

"Trying to figure out this code," Sydney replied frustrated as she worked with her mother's earrings.

"Aren't those the earrings you said Mom gave you?"

"Yeah. I saw her today."

"You did!" Nadia exclaimed happily. "What did she say? Is she okay? I'm dying to go see her."

"She didn't say much. I'm worried about her." Sydney confessed. "She didn't look okay and I don't know why she would let herself be captured. Nothing ever makes sense with Mom but I don't know something…. seemed different."

"Maybe you should talk to Dad. He could know something."

"That's the other thing. She specifically told the CIA she would only talk to you and I. None of this makes sense," Sydney said slamming down the pen in her hand.

"Maybe it doesn't have to," Nadia suggested hopefully. "Maybe - I don't know - maybe we could get her released on some sort of agreement. She could stay in LA and we could spend time together. Get to know one another."

Sydney looked over at her younger sister and couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Sydney couldn't imagine what things must have been like for Nadia growing up without their parents. She already knew how hard it was to grow up with out Irina but at least she had been able to spend her early years with her. And she had had an extra year with Irina in which she had learned that her mother would never be a normal mom. She'd always have an agenda and an escape plan.

Sydney could see Nadia hoped for more and she wanted to explain to her that it would never happen but instead she decided to focus on the matter at hand: breaking the code.

It took her hours but Sydney was finally able to discover the secret. She decoded a phone number that she knew was what her mother wanted her to find. Nervously Sydney picked up her cell phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?" a woman's voice said from the other end.

"Hello," Sydney replied nervously.

"Who is this?"

"Sydney Bristow," Sydney helplessly replied. She realized she had no idea who she was talking to and wasn't even sure if she had the right message.

"Sydney," the woman said breathlessly as the phone went dead.


	13. Chapter 13

-1To the amazement of both girls Irina was released in less than a week. Sydney didn't know who she had called but she knew that it worked. Irina had been given a stipulated pardon, she could be free as long she agreed to comply with the CIA and offer her knowledge and abilities to APO.

"It's a beautiful house girls," Irina said drying off her hair and joining the girls in the living room. "It was very nice of you to let me come here and clean up."

"You can stay," Nadia quickly said. "There's plenty of room. It could be fun."

"You girls are young you don't need your mom hanging around," Irina said shaking her head gently, looking at her youngest daughter and could see the disappointment in her face. "We'll spend time together. All the time you want. Promise."

"Mom," Sydney replied quickly her eyes widening. "Could I see…show you something in the ….my bedroom."

"Sure," Irina said skeptically.

"Nadia, I'm sure Mom is starving for some real food could you whip up your amazing Caesar salad."

"Yeah no problem," Nadia replied suspiciously.

"What's are you doing?" Sydney demanded to know in a hushed tone once she and her mother were safely in her room and out of earshot.

"What?" Irina asked not sure what was going on.

"What are you doing? Why are you making Nadia promises you know you won't keep?"

"Sydney-"

"No. I love you Mom but we both know you're up to something and you're not going to stay."

Irina looked at Sydney and felt a lump in her throat at her daughter's distrust but also a bit of pride that her daughter was smart enough to question her motives. Irina was also proud at how protective Sydney was of her sister. She wanted to correct her daughter and tell her she was wrong but she didn't know if she should. So instead she decided to let her daughter believe what she wanted.

"Sydney-" Irina began. "I won't hurt Nadia….or you."

"This is wonderful Nadia," Irina complimented as they finished lunched.

"I'm glad you liked it," Nadia beamed.

"I did," Irina assured. "Why aren't you girls at work? Surely the world needs saving."

"Dad gave us the day off," Sydney replied clearing her plate.

"Oh," Irina said tensing at the mention of Jack.

"You know what we should do?" Nadia thought happily. "We should all have dinner together. The four of us."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea - just yet," Irina quickly added. "I'd prefer to just spend time with you first. Us girls - no boys allowed sort of thing."

Sydney looked suspiciously at Irina's staunch rejection of lunch with there father but didn't want to ruin Nadia's enthusiasm just yet.

"That sounds like a great idea," Sydney chimed in. "Mom can stay tonight at least I'm sure. We could have a girls night."

"Yeah," Irina said glancing thankfully at Sydney. "How does that sound?"

"Perfect." Nadia beamed.

"How are your wedding plans coming along Sydney?" Irina asked once Nadia left to take a phone call from Eric.

"Alright I guess. We want something small. We're kind of leaning towards May- maybe"

"Are you talking about the wedding?" Nadia asked excitedly as she returned to the room.

"She wants a big wedding," Sydney explained rolling her eyes.

"It's once in lifetime. Don't you want something magical? With all your friends and family?"

"One I hope the marriage can be magical on its own. And two, we both know friends and family is an ify topic. I don't have that many friends and I would be inviting my closest ones and for similar reasons of why I wouldn't invite everyone I know I also don't know how I could invite family. I love you Nadie but how could we possibly explain you to Dad's family or more importantly how could we explain Mom? And I definitely couldn't invite Aunt Katya."

"What do you think Mom?" Nadia asked.

"I think it's your sister's wedding and she should do whatever makes her happy. And I would hope that she wouldn't let this life interfere with her happiness," Irina said looking painfully at her daughter. "If you want a big Sydney have a big wedding. If you want your Dad's family and Katya and all the people you know then we'll make sure it happens."

"What was your wedding like Mom?"

"It was nice. It was small. Katya did not go," Irina said with a small smile. "It was at this beautiful church in Detroit - your grandparents were married there. Since we didn't have it in Virginia not too many of our friends came but some did…."

"Arvin?" Nadia prompted.

"Yeah," Irina replied. "Obviously my parents weren't there but my mother sent the dress she had worn on her wedding day and my father bought me a necklace."

"You were a beautiful bride," Sydney said remembering how beautiful her mother looked in her wedding pictures. "I use to look at that picture for hours."

"I wish I could have seen it," Nadia said sadly.

"You know what? I might have it," Sydney said getting up and going to her room. "Aunt Cate is going through pictures and putting them disks and such. She send me a box of pictures she thought I would like. Actually she thought you would like them but I totally forgot."

"Me?" Nadia asked surprised.

"Yeah. Dad told her about you. She's excited to meet you," Sydney said looking through the box. "Here."

"Oh my…" Nadia said breathlessly looking at the picture of her mother in a vintage lace wedding dress. "You look beautiful. And Dad's looks so handsome."

Irina looked at the picture but quickly looked away to stop the tears she felt forming in her eyes, the memory of her wedding flooding her thoughts. She remembered the plethora of emotions she experienced: sadness that her parents couldn't be there, fear of what the KGB would do, of Jack finding out, and of loosing everything, nerves of what she was about to do and the commitment she was making, but mostly love for the man she was about to marry - that terrified her more than anything. She recalled her vows and everything Jack had said to Laura….

"Mom?"

"What?" Irina asked coming back to earth.

"Do you still have the dress? I never remember seeing it."

"I told your father it was rented. It's in Russia. You can have it if you want," Irina offered with a small smile.

Sydney looked at her moment and once again saw a sadness or weakness she never recognized. "Yeah. I'd like that."


	14. Chapter 14

-1Irina's first day at APO was an event for everyone. She began her day in a secret meeting with Director Chase where she was reminded of her agreement with the CIA and her commitment to helping the office. Chase hated debriefing Irina. She had distrusted Sloane and was forced to leave him in charge of an office and now she felt she was doing the same thing.

Irina was no more pleased with the situation than Chase was. The last place she wanted to work for was the CIA, she had planned on leaving the business entirely and now she was forced to work for the enemy. She felt it was even worse that she had to work with her family. She knew that time was running out and she was going to have to face them with the truth but seeing them everyday was going to make everything so much more difficult, particularly with Jack.

As she had anticipated Jack learned of her in cell request not to see him and as a result she hadn't. She knew he must be angry and certainly confused but she wasn't prepared to give up that portion of her original plan. She would keep Jack at a distance. As hard as it would be for the both of them she'd maintain a cool icy demeanor. She hated it and knew that the consequences would impact not only Jack but also Sydney; however, Irina wasn't sure that also wasn't for the best.

Irina's entrance in to the APO office caused quite a stir as all eyes were on her - everyone dying to meet the famed Derevko woman who had spent years on the CIA most wanted but was also wife of their boss and mother to their colleagues.

Irina's cool demeanor was matched by Jack's icy one. He wouldn't look at her. He simply introduced her and went on with the meeting, leaving first and not saying a word.

"Hi Mom," Nadia greeted once the meeting was over and most people have left. "I'd like for you to meet Eric Weiss."

"Hello Eric," Irina said with her typical teasing glance.

"Ms. Derevko. It's an honor to meet you. I really am very fond of your daughter. She's a great girl - woman - person," Eric stumbled nervously and became even more nervous as Irina began to laugh.

"I don't know if you remember me-"

"Marshall. I remember you. Nice to see you again."

"Oh, well, yes, thank you, you too," Marshall said flustered that Irina remembered him.

"Mom," Sydney said rolling her eyes slightly at the two men acting like schoolchildren. "I'd like you to meet Marcus Dixon."

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. I know you saw me and told the girls. I'm very grateful for that," Irina said extending her hand.

"I'm glad I could help," Dixon said torn between wanting to trust his partners mother but not wanting to be burned by another "reformed" criminal.

"Mr. Vaughn," Irina commented at he last person in the room.

"Irina," Vaughn said showing off to the others in the room by addressing Irina by her first name.

Irina didn't really mind the distrust on his part. She found it entertaining. She knew men and their egos and if it made him happy to call her Irina - so be it.

"Come on Mom let me show you to your desk," Nadia offered.


	15. Chapter 15

-1"You girls really didn't need to come and pick me up," Irina said rushing around in her bedroom looking for something to wear.

"It's not a big deal Mom," Sydney said looking around her mother's apartment.

Both she and Nadia had been anxious to see where their mom was living since she had declined their offer to stay with them. Sydney was really surprised to see how nice the apartment was and was curious as to why her mother would have such an easily furnished place ready for her to stay at.

"I just feel bad making you girls wait.," Irina said frustrated as she could barely fit in to her pants.

"We're not in a hurry. Dad gave us the day off," Nadia assured desperately wanting to snoop a little but obediently remaining in the living room.

Both girls jumped slightly when they heard the door begin to open.

"Mom?" Sydney called down towards her mother's room.

"I'll be right out."

"Oh my God," Anastasia exclaimed dropping her purse as she entered the living room. "Sydney, Nadia."

To both girls shock the older woman rushed over to them and pulled them in to an embrace.

"Oh my," Anastasia repeated pulling back and taking one of each girls hand in her own. "Look at you two. You're so beautiful and so grown up."

"Mother?" Irina called desperately hoping it would be anyone else as she entered the living room.

Quickly turning around but not letting go of the girls hands Anastasia's smile faded slightly at the sight of Irina and annoyance filled the void.

"Gigi."

"Gigi?" Sydney and Nadia repeated shocked.

"Mother," Irina said through clenched teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my apartment remember?" Anastasia replied with a raised eyebrow. "I was here to pick something I had left behind but now…."

"No need to change your plans we were just leaving," Irina insisted grabbing her purse.

"Where are you girls going?" Anastasia asked her granddaughters.

"Cosi's – it's a café - we're going to have lunch and go shopping for Sydney's wedding." Nadia answered. "Would you like to come with us?"

"I'm sure she can't."

"Nonsense of course I can."

"Don't you have to meet Arnold or something?"

"Arnold?" Sydney asked a recognition dawning on her. Ever since Anastasia entered the apartment Sydney felt like she knew her and now she knew why. "You're Anastasia Romanov."

"What Syd?" Nadia asked feeling left out.

"She's the Russian ambassador to the United States. You're seeing Senator Arnold Vinick."

"That would be me."

"You're an ambassador," Sydney repeated things beginning to make sense. "It was you I talked to on the phone. You got Mom pardoned."

"Smart girl you are. I did get your mother out of prison. You'd think she'd be a bit more grateful," Anastasia said glancing over at Irina.

Irina sighed deeply as she realized she was not going to be getting rid of her mother any time soon. "Let's go."


	16. Chapter 16

-1"Why did you call Mom Gigi?" Nadia asked once the waitress left the table.

"It's her name. Irina Giselle Dmitrienva Derevko. Dimi- your grandfather – always called her Gigi. I've done it for a while now-"

"Only to annoy me," Irina clarified.

"That's a bonus." Anastasia said proudly. "Have you girls seen the movie Gigi?"

"Yeah," Sydney replied. "It's about a French girl who's aunt raises her to be a call girl?"

"That's it."

"How does that relate to Mom?" Nadia wondered.

"Your mother was always girlie like and graceful of course she was a ballerina-"

"You were a ballerina?" Sydney interrupted.

"Ye-"

"She was wonderful. She wanted to do it professionally," Anastasia revealed. "She could have to if she didn't always need to be such a show off and need to let everyone know how smart she was. Once the government learned she could be so thoughtful and manipulative they ended her dancing and put her in the academy."

"Mother," Irina warned in a harsh tone, as her daughters looked on in shock and amazement.

"Anyway, like those two women in the movie Elena and Katya helped prime your mother to be a spy. She became that glamour girl and feel in love with your father. She didn't want to go through with it because she loved your father. Ofcourse she didn't really have a choice anyway and it's not exactly the same as the movie but close enough."

"I see," Sydney replied trying to grasp everything that was going on.

"You were a ballerina Mom?" Nadia asked again not over the secondary information that was just provided to them.

"A long time ago."

"She still dances," Anastasia elaborated. "She's still marvelous at it."

"The KGB made you stop?"

"I don't think this is the appropriate place to have this conversation."

"No one is paying any attention to us," Anastasia insisted, determined to force her daughter in to opening herself up to Sydney and Nadia. When she wouldn't, Anastasia did it for her. "She's was at the Mariniskii School and was the shining star – which got the government's attention in the first place. They watched her at school and noticed how analytical she could be and quick to learn. They advanced her at school and she continued to excel. Then Elena convinced her that her real duty was to serve her country. That was of course after she caused her to fall and break her ankle. Fortunately, Irina has always been quick to heal and it never left permanent damage."

"You couldn't do anything to stop it?" Nadia asked sadly "Why didn't you stop Elena? And you're the ambassador you must have some influence -"

"I wasn't the ambassador then. I've only been ambassador since my husband died a few years ago and carried on his position. And back then he was a professor. These were Soviet days. I'm a Romanov and we tried to remain discrete. Much like your father had to sit back and watch Sydney join SD-6 we had to watch Irina-"

"How did you – or your husband – become ambassador?" Sydney asked trying to put together the pieces.

"Gorbachev wanted to show Reagan how compromising he could be. Dmitri was smart and diplomatic. Being from Petersburg we are not gruff and soviet-like."

"And you used your position to get Mom a pardon," Nadia concluded.

Anastasia grinned slyly at the comment. "Not that position so much."

"Then how…?"

"As I'm sure you girls can imagine Putin isn't quite my biggest fan. I happen to be rather influential in Washington and I've established myself nicely so it would be more trouble for him to officially replace me so he won't. However, Irina has a tendency to not only upset the American government but the Russian one as well. Putin doesn't tend to play nice and as a former KGB official he isn't fond of Irina in particular.."

"You used the Senator." Sydney concluded.

"Used is a harsh word Dear. Arnold and I are old friends and when I explained the situation he was able to flex some of his own muscle in reaching an agreement with Langley."

"What about Elena and Katya?" Nadia asked curiously.

"Katya's a fine girl but obviously from Moscow -"

"What do you mean?" Sydney interrupted. "She's your-"

"Heavens. Darling, Elena and Katya are not my children. They are Dmitri's nieces. When his sister was killed the girls came and stayed with us."

"Oh-" Sydney replied as information began to sink in and things began to make more sense.

"Elena was the first to join-" Irina said finally ready to talk about herself. "She was always cold and cruel and hungry for power. She didn't tell anyone but everyone sort of knew. Katya wanted adventure so joined. Elena was always jealous of how much smarter I was than her, she tormented me way back then when she had the chance which thankfully wasn't often. She learned she could impress her superiors with good recruits and she knew how much I loved the ballet," Irina remembered painfully. "She made fall one day. I didn't know it was her but I learned later. I was devastated and inconsolable. She came and visited me one day and told me she knew something I could do that was better and more important than dancing. Katya wanted to stop her but Elena threatened her. Elena's plan backfired when I became the better agent and more popular with superiors. Katya protected me. Obviously as young girl men want to take advantage - she made sure no one would. Katya is my sister."


	17. Chapter 17

Irina and Jack didn't find themselves alone together for several more days at Sydney's and Nadia's for a "family night". It was Nadia's idea. She wanted them to spend time together and get to know each other. Although both of her parents made an effort to spend time with their daughters, Nadia still felt it was harder for Jack and so she arranged the night to include more of his favorite things.

Sydney was pleasantly surprised that her parents agreed to come. She had noticed unexplainable tension between the two of them since her mother's release and she still couldn't be confident like Nadia that they may actually be able to be a real family.

"What kind of pizza does everyone want?" Nadia asked as she prepared to call in the order.

"It doesn't matter," Jack said.

"Come on we're suppose to learn what everyone likes," Nadia pressured.

"He likes supreme - pepperoni, green pepper, sausage, onion," Irina said without thinking and to the surprise of everyone else in the room. "I'll have Hawaiian."

"You hate -never mind." Jack began but stopped himself as he remembered why she may be ordering it. " Could you order some bread too Nadia?"

"Yeah," Nadia said glancing at her parent then at Sydney who shrugged equally confused. "What do you want Syd."

"Supreme is fine"

"What's your favorite Nadia?" Irina asked with a smile.

"I don't actually like pizza. I think I'll just have a salad and some bread."

"Let's get something else then," Jack suggested.

"No it's fine. They deliver and it will give us time to talk," Nadia said dialing the number.

"What's your favorite color?" Nadia asked as they sat around the table playing rummy.

"Purple," Sydney said lying down some cards.

"I remember when you were a girl everything that was purple you insisted belonged to you. Once Brooke bought you and Brianna each a dress - yours was pink and hers was purple and you simply wouldn't accept that yours wasn't the purple one," Irina said with a smile.

"I still don't know why she would give Bree a purple dress when she knew I loved purple."

Nadia watched the conversation between her mom and her sister and beginning to feel left out, moved on to her dad.

"Um….blue," Jack decided after thinking carefully for a few seconds.

"Really?" Nadia said brightening. "Me too."

"Look at that." Jack said giving Nadia a smile.

"Mom?"

"Pink," Irina said with a shrug.

"Favorite sport?" Jack asked as they sat ate their pizza.

"Football - um - soccer football," Nadia said.

"Someone loves David Beckham," Sydney teased.

"I don't love him but he's definitely hot."

"I only watch soccer football for David Beckham." Sydney said.

"Hockey," Irina answered.

"Baseball - Go Tigers." Jack said glancing secretively at Irina.

"I don't think I've ever watched either of those sports."

"We'll have to go sometime. You should see Dad at a ball game, he's very middle America then."

"Really?"

"It's frightening." Irina concurred. "And the game can be quite dull but he'll still be screaming at the television."

"I'm not that bad."

"Yes you are!" Irina and Sydney both answered.

"I don't know which I like more hockey or baseball," Sydney said after a few moments. "But if I have to chose one I'll probably go with hockey - sorry Dad."

"As long as it's the Red Wings I don't care."

"I can't believe you got cream puffs and Sander's fudge for dessert Nadia," Jack said as the movie credits began to roll. "It was very thoughtful of you. As was having us watch the Thin Man."

"I'm glad you liked it." Nadia beamed.

"I really did."

"Looks like these two didn't care for the movie as much."

"I've seen the movie a million times Sweetheart. I can tell you the plot forward and backwards," Irina said drowsily sitting up on the couch.

"I didn't think you were up."

"I am. You did a wonderful job, Nadia," Irina said standing up and about to stretch until she remembered her secret. "I'm going to make a quick stop before I go."

"Are you sure you can drive Irina?" Jack asked he watched Irina yawn on her return to the living room.

"I'm fine."

"You don't have to go Mom. You can spend the night," Nadia said cleaning up the mess from the kitchen.

"Thank you Sweetheart but I do need to get back to my apartment," Irina replied walking over to give Nadia a hug. "But I had a wonderful time and I definitely think we need to do this again."

"Good," Nadia beamed holding on tightly to Irina.

"Let me drive you home," Jack said once the two had left the house.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You've been yawning constantly. There is no point in you driving. You aren't even good at it when you're fully rested."

"You expect me to get in a car with you after this?" Irina asked trying to suppress a yawn.

Jack stared at her which a knowing glance and walked over to his car. "Are coming or not?"

Silently Irina walked over and got in the car.


	18. Chapter 18

Irina watched from her desk at APO as Jack moved around his office with increased urgency. When Marshall left Jack's office Irina got up and went in.

"What's going on? What are you doing?" Irina asked as she watched Jack pick up the phone.

"We found a lead to a Rambaldi artifact. I'm calling the girls."

"What?" Irina said walking over and hanging up the phone.

"Excuse me?" Jack said finally looking up and at Irina.

"They're out with their boyfriends. Don't bother them with this."

"Irina this is -"

"Not worth bothering them. You said you found a lead. Get someone else."

"I'm not trusting anyone else with something like this," Jack said moving to pick up the phone.

"Where is it?" Irina asked not moving her hand.

"A bank in Vancouver."

"A bank?" Irina repeated. "Ill go….. We'll go."

Jack didn't say anything but only stared at Irina in disbelief. "First of all do you really think I'd send you? Your agreement with the agency is intelligence not missions. Not to mention the fact you're not in a position to be doing it anyway."

Irina glanced down at her abdomen, bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath. "It's a bank. We'll go in and out."

"Irina," Jack said inhaling deeply.

"I'll be your mistress. Hormonal mistress who insists on you set up the trust immediately at whatever 5:55pm. I'll be tired wait in the office, you go the vault, we'll get it and go. Let the girls have a good time, we can do this."

"Did you get it?" Irina asked as she entered the vault.

"Yeah. It has a safety. We'll have to take it with us. Irina?" Jack asked when he looked up and saw her leaning against the wall, eyes closed tightly and biting her lip. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, let's get-." Irina said standing up straight. "Did you hear-"

"Silent alarm. Let's go," Jack said grabbing the box and his gun.

Quickly Irina and Jack raced up the back stairs. Jack had a lead on Irina who began to feel tightness in her abdomen that was forcing her to slow down.

"Irina come one," Jack called looking down at Irina who had stopped a few steps back. "Irina!"

"Sorry, I'm coming," Irina said taking a deep breath and looking up to see two men with guns coming down. "Jack."

Jack looked up quickly and saw the men. Pulling out his gun he shot at them, hitting one in the shoulder. The other made his way down the stairs and Jack having knocked his gun out of his hand began to fight. Irina unwillingly stood helpless as Jack fought off the men, a fact that did not escape Jack's notice.

"Come on," he said once the men were down grabbing Irina's hand and continuing upstairs.

"This office looks safe enough for now," Jack said closing the door behind them. "Irina?"

"You were right," Irina said through harsh breathing. "I shouldn't have come."

"What's going on?"

"I'm having contractions."

"You're in labor?" Jack asked shocked.

"I don't know. It's far too soon. I shouldn't be. I can't be Jack." Irina said desperately, sitting down in a chair.

Checking behind him to make sure they had enough time, Jack walked over to her and bent down to be at eye level.

"It'll be alright. Take deep breaths."

"It hurts," Irina said tears falling down her face. "I'm scared."

"You're Irina Derevko, nothing scares you."

"You're wrong. Plenty of things scare me," Irina said looking Jack in the eyes. "Losing this baby terrifies me."

"You're not going to loss your baby."

"We have to get out of here."

"Can you move?"

"I don't have a choice. Let's go."

They were able to get out and once they did Irina's pains began to subside. As soon as they were out of the city and in to the suburbs Jack took Irina to the hospital. He sat uncomfortably in the waiting room while Irina was examined. He was nervous as he waited and relieved when he saw her walking over to him.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Irina said nodding her head. "Round ligament pain."

"That's good," Jack replied standing up. "Right?"

"Yeah. It's fine," Irina said messaging her abdomen. "I'm sorry Jack. I shouldn't ha-"

"Forget it. We got what we needed."

Irina opened her mouth to protest but instead she just decided to say, "Thank you."


	19. Chapter 19

-1"He doesn't realizes it's his child," Irina admitted as she sat cross legged on the living room floor.

"That's wonderful," Anastasia replied rolling her eyes. "Congratulations."

"Pardon?"

"That was your plan wasn't it? He'll hate you, you'll die and he's miraculously learn the truth, be angry with you but thrilled to have another chance at fatherhood," Anastasia reminded sarcastically.

"Yeah."

"Realize you're idiot yet Gigi?"

"It's not what you think," Irina said defensively standing up and walking over to the kitchen.

"It's not that you're upset he doesn't think he could be the father and doesn't seem to care?" Anastasia asked with a raised eyebrow. She softened her tone when she saw Irina's saddened face. "I'm your mother Irina. I know you. I know what you are thinking. I know what you will do. I know when you're making a mistake. I've seen you make plenty and have mostly let you. Stop making mistakes! You're too smart for it. And now you're convinced you're going to die so do the right thing."

"I don't know what the right thing is." Irina confessed looking helplessly at her mother.

"I do. Tell - him - the - truth. The time is now. That little baby is getting bigger everyday and you can't keep hiding."


	20. Chapter 20

-1"Can I help you?" a woman asked coming out of the neighboring apartment and walking over to Irina.

Irina jumped slightly at the unexpected interruption. Quick to regroup Irina forced a smile, "Hello."

"Hi I'm Vera - Fred's neighbor. Who are you?"

"Giselle."

"Nice to meet you," Vera said shaking Irina's hand. "Are you by any chance Claire's mother you two look just a like."

"Yes I am," Irina replied surprised that this woman knew Sydney.

"You know I don't think Fred is back yet. He left early this morning and I imagine he'll be back soon."

"Really," Irina replied surprised at the details this woman appeared to know about Jack. "I guess I'll just wait."

"I'd have you wait in my place but I've just got to get going on my holiday shopping."

"It's not a problem," Irina insisted. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too. Tell Fred I said hi." Vera said getting on the elevator.

"Will do," Irina replied her smile disappearing as soon as the woman was out of sight. Jack had better security than she expected- nosey neighbors. Unsure of who else may be watching she decided to wait and sat on floor.

"Irina?" Jack asked walking down the hall with bags in his hands. "What are you doing?"

Irina looked at her watch and saw that she had been waiting for over a half hour.

"Waiting for you."

"I can see that." Jack said unlocking the door and setting down the bags. He turned and saw that Irina was having some difficulty standing and reluctantly extended his hand.

"Thank you," Irina replied frustrated. "May I use the bathroom?"

"Down the hall."

As she entered the apartment she was surprised by what she saw. It was nice. Far more spacious than she expected and well furnished. She wondered who had done it for him and then realized that it was probably Cate.

"What are you doing here Irina?" Jack asked again as Irina entered the kitchen.

"I can't see you?" Irina innocently asked.

"You see me at the office," Jack curtly reminded.

"We need to talk." Irina said as it was clear Jack wasn't in the mood for games and truthfully neither was she.

"About?"

"The baby."

"What about it?" Jack asked tensing up.

"It's your baby."

Irina stood and waited for a reaction but saw none.

"Jack?"

"What do you want me to say Irina?"

"Something….anything would be good."

"I don't know what your motive is but I know that that baby isn't mine."

"What?" Irina asked shocked and confused. "Of course it is."

"It's not possible."

"I agree it's not likely but it is possible. I would - I did say the same thing but it's true."

Jack took a deep breath and tightly closed his eyes. "I was subject to radiation- I can't have children."

"Jack believe me I know what you are thinking. I've been through as many things as you have. I don't know how this has happened but I'm definitely pregnant and unless you believe in an immaculate conception this is our child." Irina insisted. "It's miracle. That's the only explanation."

Jack stood staring at Irina unable to comprehend what was going on.

Irina could see that Jack was shocked and suspicious. "I understand that we have trust issues but Jack why would I lie about this? I glad I'm having your baby but I'm not gaining anything from it, there is no conceivable ulterior motive."

Jack looked at Irina and knew what she said was true. There was no plausible reason for her to lie about this.

"This isn't really an issue of my believing you Irina - or not believing you as the case may be - but it's about believing that I could actually be the father. I really don't-"

"You are. I promise," Irina said shrugging her shoulders.

"Why wouldn't you tell me sooner?"

Irina dreaded the question and wasn't prepared for full disclosure.

"I didn't know how," Irina replied not really lying.

Surprisingly, Jack accepted her reply.

"Is it alright?"

"Amazingly, she's fine."

"She?"

"You have a track record I have a feeling." Irina said smiling. "The amnio test came back normal. I go to the doctor's often and everything is great," Irina said rubbing her abdomen and smiling. "The only thing is that she's smaller than she ought to be but we're working on it."

Irina watched and waited for Jack's reaction but saw none. His expression was blank, not angry or happy or surprised or concerned. He solely stood staring at her not saying a word. Irina knew he needed time and wanted to give it to him. She grabbed her purse and began to head towards the door.

"I have an appointment tomorrow at 11 if you want to come. We can have a DNA test done," Irina offered.


	21. Chapter 21

-1Irina sat tensely on the examination table. She hated hospitals especially a CIA hospital. Unfortunately, she had no choice. She was unable to see her doctor while she was in Los Angeles and she couldn't go to a regular hospital because she would be unable to disclose her medical history. But she'd do anything for her baby.

When the doctor began the examination Irina laid wondering if Jack would come. Her question was soon answered as she watched Jack walk past the door.

"Jack." Irina called initially smiling but her smile faded when she noticed Jack's cold demeanor.

"Irina," Jack greeted coolly entering the room.

"Dr. Hale this is m – Jack Bristow. Jack this is Dr. Hale."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Dr. Hale replied with a nod of acknowledgement. "You're just in time. We're about to take a look at the baby."

Jack moved closer to Irina so he could see the screen but remained far enough so he would not be too close to her. He was surprise to see how vulnerable she looked on the table and he recognized fear in her eyes. His focus was diverted however when Irina's gown was lifted and her swollen stomach was made visible. Jack could instantly see the changes from the time he had learned she was pregnant and he was amazed that she was still able to hide something that was now so obvious.

"The heartbeat sounds good." Dr. Hale said moving the wand across Irina's abdomen. "Right there is the head and the arm. It looks like baby is trying to say hello."

Irina smiled as she saw the baby's hand move across the screen and could hear for herself a strong heartbeat.

"Is everything alright?" Jack asked looking at the baby on the screen.

"I'm very happy to say everything appears normal. Considering Irina's age we are obviously being cautious but at this stage things seem to be progressing very well and of course, we're monitoring Irina very carefully. It's hard to determine the exact risk to her at the moment but for now her heart appears to be doing well also."

At the mention of her heart Irina glanced nervously at Jack and then to the doctor. She had not thought about Jack learning about her health when she invited him and was desperate to change the subject.

"Can you tell us the sex? I told him it's a girl but he doesn't believe me," Irina asked with as much confidence she could muster.


	22. Chapter 22

-1"You really didn't need to drive me Jack." Irina said as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

"We're going to the same place." Jack replied sternly.

Irina sat silently looking out the window cursing the doctor for saying anything about her health as the appointment was solely intended to be a check-up for the baby but she should have figured she couldn't trust Americans particularly those working for the CIA.

"Jack what are you doing?" Irina asked as she noticed he had pulled up in an abandoned parking lot.

Jack silently got out of the car and leaned against the hood of the car.

"When were you planning on telling me the truth Irina?"

"What are you talking about?" Irina asked annoyed, wrapping her sweater tightly around her and getting out of the car.

"You know what I'm talking about. I had Marshall test those pills I took from your apartment, I checked your medical files and I heard what the doctor said."

"You had no right," Irina replied angrily.

"I had no right?" Jack asked irately. "I had no right! Irina you're making life altering decisions without my consent."

"Your consent? Since when do I need your permission to do anything?"

"You could die Irina. You don't think that affects me? Or what about our daughters?"

"This is our daughter too Jack," Irina reminded. "And as far as Sydney and Nadia are concerned you told me long ago that Sydney had spent her life without me she'd get use to it again."

"That was years ago," Jack said his cool exterior thawing as he looked at Irina. "Why are you doing this?"

"My children come first – always."

"Irina-"

"The best thing I've done in my life is my girls. I've risked my life for far less."

Jack stood frustrated knowing that he wasn't in a position to argue with Irina.

"Did it ever occur to you to discuss this with me?"

"Yes."

Jack raised his eyebrow at her response, "And?"

"And I decided what you thought didn't really matter. There was never any alternative to keeping the baby and telling you about it seemed pointless." Irina replied walking over and leaning up against the car.

"Telling me about what exactly? That you're having my baby – because you didn't actually tell me about that – or the fact that your life is being compromised?"

"Both." Irina said glancing over at his and smiling slyly.

"Irina…" Jack said feeling himself falling for her smile all over again.

"Jack….I've hurt you. I know this and I don't want to do that again. I don't want to have to leave you again. I figured keeping my distance would be easiest."

"Nothing with you is ever easy, you should know that," Jack said smiling slightly.

"I've learned," Irina confessed. "I'm selfish and as hard as I try not to be I can't help it. I want you…I need you. I wasn't going to tell you that it was your baby but I couldn't help myself."

"I'm glad you told me," Jack replied not wanting to fight anymore. "I wish you would have told me sooner."

"I'm sorry," Irina apologized rubbing her abdomen. "You haven't told me what you've thought about the baby."

"I don't know. It's a lot to take in," Jack admitted.

"I know."

"I'm happy it's my baby," Jack offered.  
"You believe me now? Or were you able to get Marshall to run a test?"

"I'm going on faith. I wasn't fond of the thought of you having another man's child." Jack confessed looking over at Irina and noticed she looked distracted. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Irina said a smile spreading across her face. "She's kicking."

"Can I feel?" Jack asked uncertainly.

"Come here," Irina said taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. "Can you feel it?"

"No," Jack replied shaking his head.

"Here," Irina said lifting her shirt slightly and placing his hand on her bare skin. "She stopped. Come on baby, how about a little kick for Daddy.?"

A shiver ran up Jack's spine at the reference of Daddy he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this was his daughter. Yet he desperately wanted to feel the baby and gently messaged Irina's stomach.

"There," Irina said grinning as she felt the baby move.

"I felt it. Taking after her sisters," Jack said as he felt a kick against the palm of his hand.

"Let's hope not exactly. I'd like for one of our children to have a normal life." Irina said pulling down her shirt and moving away.

"What are you going to do?"

"About?"

"Anything at this point"

"I'm going to spend time with the girls. Do everything I can to have a healthy baby."

"When are you going to tell the girls? You can't hide this forever – or even that much longer."

"Tomorrow. I was just going to have dinner with the two of them but if you want to come…."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"I think they would want you to be there."

"That wasn't my question," Jack reminded.

"Yes."


	23. Chapter 23

-1Irina wanted to wait until after dinner before telling the girls her news. She didn't know how to tell them or what to say and it was almost more difficult to tell them than to tell Jack. She and Jack had a different relationship and after the two years spent together during Sydney's time missing they had a certain bond and unique understanding. She didn't have that with the girls and it was hard to talk to them about this.

"There is something I need to tell you girls," Irina began as they all sat in living room. "I'm pregnant."

"What!" both girls exclaimed simultaneously.

"How?"

"Who?"

Irina tilted her head to look at Jack and see if he wanted to tell them.

"I'm the father," Jack answered taking a shallow breath.

"You!" the girls exclaimed again jaws hanging.

"That's amazing!" Nadia cried when she was finally able to gain some composure. "So…are you two…?"

"Let's deal with one thing at a time," Irina replied.

"Well…when did this happen?"

"I'm about 19 weeks."

"Really?" Nadia asked inspecting her mother.

"I'm good at hiding things." Irina said tracing her hands along her abdomen to show how large she had grown.

"Wow."


	24. Chapter 24

-1"Hey, could you come to office?" Jack asked walking over to Sydney the next morning at APO.

"Sure," Sydney said getting up and following her father.

Jack shut the door behind them and motioned for her to sit down. "You were awfully quiet last night."

"Can you blame me?" Sydney asked. "It was rather unexpected news."

"I know the feeling," Jack said leaning against the desk. "You want to talk about it?"

Sydney's smiled at her Dad and thought about how things had changed in the past few years.

"You want to know the truth?"

"Always."

"It kinda terrible and completely insane," Sydney warned.

"What is it?" Jack prompted.

"I'm jealous," Sydney confessed her face flushed with embarrassment. "It's crazy but I'm jealous."

"Of what?" Jack asked surprised.

"That you're going to have another baby," Sydney said not looking her father in the eyes. "I know Nadia's your daughter but it's different. I don't know why but I guess I feel like she was my sister first and I don't know -that I'm sharing you which is horrible because that's selfish. But now you're going to have this baby and I don't know I'm just scared that what we've been able to build is going to be gone."

Jack stared at Sydney with disbelief. Never would he have guessed she felt that way. And he was ashamed to admit it made him feel good that she did. That she loved him so much she didn't want to share him.

"You're always going to be my girl Sydney," Jack assured. "It's not selfish of you to feel that way. It was just you and I for a long time and things are changing drastically and quickly. But I love you. And I want love you any less when the baby comes."

Sydney smiled at her father's pathetic attempt at humor. "I know. I love you too Dad."

"More than your mother?" Jack asked smiling.

"Sure," Sydney replied shaking her hand and standing up to give him a hug.


	25. Chapter 25

-1Jack stood outside of Irina's apartment and contemplated turning around. He didn't know what had happened to them. He couldn't understand how they could go from being together and being close enough to make a baby and then not talking to each other. They hadn't really talked since after her doctor appointment nearly a week earlier and there was plenty that still needed to be said.

Taking a shallow breath Jack rang the doorbell.

"Coming," a voice called from inside. "Hello-" Anastasia began as she opened the door but quickly shut it.

Jack stood outside the door confused about what just happened and knocked on the door.

"What do you want?" Anastasia said opening the door but standing in the way so Jack could not come in.

"Is Irina here?"

"Momma who is it?" Irina asked walking up behind Anastasia. "Jack? Mother."

"What?" Anastasia asked with fake innocence turning around.

"Let him in," Irina told her mother.

"Fine," Anastasia said opening the door and glaring at Jack. "I'll be in the back Irina."

Irina waited to speak until her mother was out of sight, "Sorry Jack."

"Yeah," Jack said entering the apartment.

"She's upset you tried to kill me," Irina explained pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Oh."

"Do want something to drink or eat? I'm not sure how much I have. Tea? Cola? Water?"

"I'm fine thanks."

"Okay," Irina said turning around and facing Jack. "Why are you here?"

"You called in," Jack replied.

"And you wanted to make sure I didn't run?" Irina concluded.

"No," Jack unwilling smiled shaking his head. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh," Irina said smiling. "I'm fine. Sick but fine."

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, morning sickness but longer lasting. I just didn't feel like being stuck at a desk," Irina explained sitting down. "You came all this way to see if I okay?"

"Not solely."

"Do you want to sit down?"

"I'm not going to stay long," Jack declined. "Cate wants to have the whole family together for Christmas."

Irina didn't speak and just sat staring at him unsure of what he could be getting at.

"I know Nadia really wants to meet my family. I was thinking we could tell them that you survived the accident but were injured and lost your memory. You investigated your life and found Sydney and I a year ago and we've been trying to see what happens."

"Do you think that will work?"

"My family isn't analytical. The only person who may ask questions is Keri but I'm sure even she'll be too caught up with everything to really pay attention."

"So I'll be Laura," Irina said looking away.

"You can be Irina or ….Giselle," Jack suggested. "If had amnesia there is no reason to imagine you'd remember your name."

"Yeah," Irina said nodding in agreement.

"I haven't mentioned it to Nadia-" Jack informed willing to offer an out.

"No. No it's a good idea. She'd love it. I don't know it's just going back there…..it was a lifetime ago."

"You don't have to come…."

"No. You're right. Nadia will love it and I want to do that for her. When are you leaving?" Irina said forcing her attention to Jack.


	26. Chapter 26

-1Irina stood in her room and felt overwhelmed by her wardrobe that laid splattered around her. She had gone shopping for clothes to wear to Detroit and not liking anything she bought some of everything. Now back at home she still felt that she had nothing to wear.

Her thoughts had been consumed with Christmas since Jack asked her to join them at his sister's. The girls had been thrilled about the idea and that only made it more difficult for Irina because she knew she couldn't back out of it. And she desperately wanted to call Jack and tell him she couldn't go. She had replayed a plausible conversation in her head a dozen times in which she said she simply didn't feel like traveling in her condition. She would have done it but she knew that this would possibly be her last Christmas and she wanted to be with Jack and the girls.

Picking up the phone Irina called the one person she wished was with her most.

"Hello?"

"Mom?" Irina said suddenly breaking down in tears.

"Irina?" Anastasia asked concerned.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't want to go," Irina confessed shoving clothes aside and sitting on her bed.

"Oh Gigi, don't go," Anastasia replied wishing she could be there with her daughter.

"I have to go. They are looking forward to it so much. And Jack family knows and …. I have to go," Irina said shaking her head.

"Why don't you say you don't feel up to travel?"

"I've thought about it. But it means so much to them. And Jack asked me and I don't want to let him down either. I'm just don't know how to face it. I've been running from Laura Bristow for decades. I don't want to be reminded of ….everything."

"You're not going as Laura and you're Irina Derevko."

"They know me as Laura. And Cate knows who I am. She hate me," Irina said brushing a tear from her face. "I hate her."

"Gi-"

"She knows Sydney better than I do. She got to be there for the things I missed."

"Sydney is your daughter. You know her better than anyone. Being there is something but the bond you two share is everything."

"I haven't packed anything. I don't know what to wear."

"You could wear a paper bag and look like a million dollars. Don't worry about wardrobe," Anastasia insisted. "Do they think you're Irina or Giselle?"

"Giselle."

"Okay. What time are you getting there?"

"The flight leaves at 6," Irina replied racing her hands through her hair.

"It's after 10. You need rest. Throw some clothes in the bag and go to bed. Whatever you forget you can buy when you get there."

"Thanks," Irina said glad to have her mom taking care of her.

"I'm serious Irina. I want you in bed by 11."

"Okay."


	27. Chapter 27

-1Jack sat on the plane pretending to read the Time magazine he brought with him. In reality he was thinking about his girls. Looking ahead of him he saw Sydney and Nadia talking with Vaughn and Weiss, he was annoyed by the fact the men joined them on the trip. Vaughn came because as Sydney's fiancee it was only plausible that he would join them. Weiss came along because as it turned out his family was spending the holiday with his aunt who also lived in Detroit.

The person who claimed most of his attention however was Irina who laid sleeping next to him, her head resting on a pillow against the window. Jack couldn't help but find Irina captivating and it was incredibly difficult being so close to her but not able to touch her. He wanted to brush her hair out of her face so he could have a clearer view of her. More than that however he wanted to feel her ever growing abdomen. He had wanted to feel his daughter's movement since he had for the first time nearly two weeks earlier but he never had the nerve to ask her. He was tempted to feel her as Irina slept but before he gathered the nerve Irina woke up and went to the bathroom.

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked as Irina returned to her seat.

"A little nausea," Irina said closing her eyes to keep the room from spinning.

"Morning sickness?"

"And a little bit of nerves," Irina confessed.

"Nerves?" Jack asked quizzically.


	28. Chapter 28

-1"Wow!" Nadia said looking out of the window of the Renaissance Center and out to the Detroit window. "This is beautiful!"

"It is isn't it," Sydney agreed. "They've changed the city a lot since the last time I was here."

"That's right I forgot you kinda grew up here," Vaughn said wrapping his arm over Sydney's shoulder.

"We'll have to show them all the hot spots Syd," Weiss concurred. "It is a Saturday night after all."

"Are you girls coming or do you want me to leave you your keys?"

"The keys would be good." Sydney said walking over to Jack. "I think we're going to take a Vaughn and Nadia for a quick look around the city. Maybe give the people mover a go around."

"Okay," Jack said handing over the keys. "Should I assume we won't see you for the rest of the evening?"

"Probably not," Sydney agreed smiling and giving Jack a quick peck on the cheek. "Be nice to Mom."

"I'm always nice to your mother."

"Please," Sydney laughed shaking her head as she went to join her sister and fiancee.

"Where are they going?" Irina asked walking up to Jack.

"To explore the city."

"Ah."

"Are you hungry?" Jack asked turning to face Irina.

"What do you have in mind?"

"There is a café on the next floor, we could get an early dinner."

"Sounds good."

Dinner was quiet. Irina spent most of her time looking out of the windows and out on to Canada while Jack watched her. She remembered thought of the first time Jack had taken her to the restaurant, when he first took her home to meet his family. She had been equally as nervous the first time. Smiling Irina remembered what else she and Jack had done her first time in Detroit.

"Is there somewhere to go skating?"

"Skating?" Jack asked raising his eyebrow.

"Yes you know the special shoes you wear on the ice," Irina reminded.

"I know what you're referring to but I'm not exactly sure why. You can't go skating. You're pregnant," Jack reminded.

"I can ice-skate. I'm Russian I was born on ice."

"I recall you with similar sentiments a few weeks ago about a different hotel."

Irina took a deep breath as she remembered the close call in Vancouver.

"I know I can skate," Irina said confidently.

As Irina an d Jack stepped on to the ice in Campus Martius Irina remembered something else about skating with Jack. He couldn't.

"I don't believe it," Irina laughed gracefully spinning around on the ice to face Jack. "Come on, give me your hands."

"I'm fine," Jack said clumsily grabbing the side wall and standing up straight. "Be careful."

"I'm fine," Irina said her old confidence returning as she stood on the ice. She hadn't been skating in over a year and it was like riding a bike - it just came back to her and it reminded her home. "Better than fine."

"Seriously, Irina would you stop?" Jack asked watching Irina spin on the ice. "You're not the only person on the ice."

"I'm hardly doing anything impressive," Irina said taking Jack's hand. "Come on."

"No," Jack protested.

"Let go of the wall."

"I'm going to let go of your hand," Jack said pulling away and weakly beginning to skate. "I don't want you to fall."

"I'm more concerned about you falling." Irina said skating backwards and watching Jack clumsily begin to skate. "You have to relax Jack. You're too tense."

"This is ridiculous Irina," Jack said letting go of the wall and beginning to skate only to be past by a young girl and her brother.

"You're doing fine. Come on. Don't think about the ice. Imagine it's water and you have to push it out of your way."

Jack slowly made progress when a boy sped by causing him to lose his balance. Instinctively Irina reached out to catch him but was too late and ended up joining him on the ground. Irina quickly regained composure and made it to her feet, Jack soon followed and the both of them left the ice.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked once they were on hard floor. "I told you not to skate."

"I'm fine," Irina said slightly shaken but determined to remain calm.

"You fell."

"Barely, I'm fine." Irina assured feeling her stomach and gratefully being greeted with a kick.

"We're going to the hospital," Jack said taking off the skates.

"That's not necessary."

"It wasn't a question. The DMC is down Woodward."

Irina opened her mouth to protest but decided it was pointless and decided against making a fight she didn't think she could win.


	29. Chapter 29

-1"I told you I was fine," Irina said when they returned to the hotel room. "I'm sure the doctor thought we were insane for going and wasting their time."

"We wouldn't have needed to go if you hadn't insisted on ice skating," Jack countered taking off his coat. "And you're wrong. The nurses thought it was smart to have you come in."

"Jack I told you I was fine," Irina reminded.

"Maybe I was concerned about my baby." Jack fired back annoyed.

"Your baby?"

"I didn't mean that, " Jack clarified as he saw hurt in Irina's eyes.

"It doesn't matter," Irina said turning around and heading towards her bag.

"I'm sorry-"

"Let's just forget about it." Irina interrupted.

"No," Jack replied defiantly. "We have to talk about this. We've spent far too much time not talking about it."

"Jack I'm tired I spent hours on a plane, at the airport both here and in LA, waiting to be checked in at the hotel, and now at a hospital. I just want to shower and go to bed."


	30. Chapter 30

-1Groggily Irina rolled out of bed as she heard a knock at the door.

"I'm coming," she called grabbing her robe.

"You look horrible Gigi."

"Mom!" Irina exclaimed embracing her mother. "What are you doing here?"

"I realized I'd never been to Detroit and I figured I'd see what it was like," Anastasia said smoothly.

"I'm so glad you're here," Irina said pulling her mother in to the room. "And I never thought I'd say that."

"Me neither." Anastasia said looking around. "Where's you know who?"

Irina quickly glanced around the room and noticed for the first time Jack wasn't there. "I don't know."

"What happened?" Anastasia asked shaking her head.

"I don't know," Irina confessed with an exasperated sigh. "I don't know. Things have just been so….hard. I fell yesterday."

"You what? How?" Anastasia asked concerned.

"We went skating and …we fell."

"How? You're a great skater!" Anastasia exclaimed. "Jack pulled you down didn't he?"

"No. He fell I went to grab him…"

"Why? Are you stupid!? Irina you have enough problems-"

"Mother!" Irina cried suddenly not so grateful her mother was there. "I'm fine."

"Have you been to a doctor?"

"Jack made me go," Irina replied looking away.

"Good! Did you fight with him?"

"No! No. Not really," Irina weakly protested.

"You fought with him." Anastasia summarized.

"I just wanted to have a nice evening. I was finally myself on the ice. I hadn't felt so calm in so long. I just-"

"Irina Giselle Dmitrienva Derevko go find that man and talk to him. It's Christmas have it be a yuletide miracle."

"Mother-"

"No. You don't get to run anymore."


	31. Chapter 31

-1Irina spent the afternoon looking for Jack but couldn't find him. She called his phone but he wouldn't answer. She had given up and gone in to Border's when she saw him. Apprehensively, Irina walked over to him.

"Jack."

Startled Jack couldn't help but reveal his surprise at seeing her.

"Irina."

"What are you looking at?" Irina asked motioning to the book in his hand.

"It's nothing." Jack said quickly closing the book.

"Come on what is it?" Irina asked playfully, "Karma sutra?"

" No," Jack said rolling his eyes.

"What is it?" Irina repeated reaching for the book and pausing once she caught a glimpse of the cover.

"Happy?" Jack asked setting down the parenting book.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"So?" Jack prompted once they had settled in at Starbucks.

"My mother is here," Irina began.

"Here?" Jack repeated looking around the café.

"The RenCen."

"Why?" Jack asked confused. "You brought me here to tell me that?"

"She's here for me." Irina answered pausing to gather her thoughts. "Remember when you said nothing scares me? This scares me."

"What?"

"Being here. Seeing your family. Going back to the life I left behind," Irina said looking away. "I hate that life. It wasn't my life. I don't think you can ever understand how hard that was. I know it hurt you but it hurt me too. During our time together you thought you knew who I was - and you did - you knew me. You just didn't know my name or my history. When you called me Laura you said it with such love and affection and…..every time it reminded me that you didn't love me. You loved Laura. I loved you. I could tell you that but you could never tell me. Everything we did, every romantic, tender, angry frustrated moment we shared it was always you and Laura."

"I've spent the past 20 years trying to forget about Laura. I hate Laura." Irina said through tears. "And now I have to go back and confront that life….On the ice yesterday….I was Irina. I could be free, I could be myself. Leaving reminded me that I couldn't. And hearing you say that you were concerned about your baby reminded me that I'm…..I'm just a body."

"Irina-" Jack interrupted. "Irina look at me."

"Jack-"

"No," Jack said guiding her face to his direction. "I love you Irina. You're not a just a body. You're an amazing woman and I love you."

Tears began to fall quickly down Irina's face as Jack simultaneously brushed them away.

"You don't have to go to Cate's tomorrow. We don't have to. We can stay at the hotel…. as a family - the girls and I could stop over Cate's later."

"No," Irina said shaking her head. "They're both looking forward to it."

"They'll understand."

"It's important to them and I don't want to take that away."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Irina said noticing Jack glancing at his watch. "Do you have to be somewhere?"

"Kind of," Jack admitted. "I promised Dad I'd take him to a Piston's game. And-"

"You'd better hurry because you have some driving ahead of you." Irina said

"I can cancel -"

"Go."


	32. Chapter 32

-1"So what the hell is going on with you and Laura?" Jim asked soon after the game began. "Cate has attempted to explain this to us but I don't know what the hell she's talking about. Laura's alive. You have another daughter?"

"She's Giselle now Dad," Jack was quick to correct with Irina's new alias - Irina Derevko being far too risky. "And I two more daughters now. Giselle's pregnant."

"What! Cate didn't mention that."

"Well maybe she was leaving that to me," Jack said drinking some beer, hoping to feel a buzz quickly.

"Does your mother know this?" Jim asked quickly.

"No," Jack said rolling his eyes.

"Good," Jim replied with a boyish grin and devilish laugh.

"Dad," Jack laughed helplessly.

"Alright," Jim said regrouping and regaining focus. "Well now really what is going on? You two are knocking boots?"

"Dad!"

"What?!"

"It's complicated Dad." Jack emphasized.

"And?"

"We're going to see what happens."

"What's she like? What about the girl?"

"She's a lot like she always was. And Nadia- my daughter- she's beautiful. She looks like me," Jack said proudly. "She brilliant and the sweetest girl. You'll love her."

"And the baby?"

"Is a girl?" Jack said uncertain about what his father wanted.

"How'd it happen?"

"You were the one who was suppose to explain that to me," Jack teased.

"You've been spending time with your mother in California haven't you?" Jim asked glaring. "Seriously. Does she know you? Are you two…what?"

"She knows me. We're…" Jack trailed. "Technically still married."

"You still love her?"

"More than you know."


	33. Chapter 33

-1"Irina," Jack called walking over to her bed late that night. "Irina?"

Irina remained unmoved on the bed. Jack gently brushed hair away from her face and smiled at how beautiful she looked. His eyes trailed her figure and stopped at her abdomen and as he had wanted to for weeks he finally reached out to touch it and was greeted with a strong kick.

"Hey in there," Jack whispered messaging Irina stomach tenderly.

"Jack?" Irina called waking up.

"You're up,"

"You woke up the baby," Irina said not opening her eyes. "Did they win?"

"Of course 105-89."

"Good," Irina said with a weak smile.

"I'm sorry I had to leave this afternoon. I would like to finish our conversation." Jack apologized.

"It doesn't matter," Irina interrupted shaking her head. "It's not important."

"It's very important. I never thought about what it was like for you to be L-"

"It's late Jack. I'm tired."

"Irina-" Jack began with a sigh.

Irina opened her eyes and could see Jack's hurt expression.

"Will you hold me?" Irina asked reaching out for Jack's arm.

"Always," Jacks said laying on the bed and taking Irina in his arms.

Jack held Irina all night and did not sleep. He couldn't. He could only think of how many times he had held Irina in his arms and wonder how he had ever lived his without her. He ran his hand through her hair and took in her scent when Irina began to stir.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?" Irina asked patting her stomach and heading for the bathroom.

Jack sat up beginning to prepare himself for a true conversation with Irina when there was a knock on the door. Frustrated with the thought of any interruptions Jack abruptly answered the door preparing to order whoever it was away.

"Sydney," Jack sighed.

"Morning, Dad," Sydney greeted her bubbly smile fading a bit. "We're all going to breakfast do you and Mom want to come?"

"No," Jack said firmly.

"No?" Sydney repeated shocked.

"Your mother and I need some time alone. We'll meet with you girls later," Jack explained hurried as he could hear Irina finishing in the bathroom and did not want her let Sydney distract them.

"Okay. Later Dad," Sydney said as Jack shut the door.

"Who was that?" Irina asked.

"It was nothing. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Irina said tears visible in her eyes.

"Irina what's wrong? Is it the baby?" Jack asked concerned.

"No the baby is fine," Irina said suddenly feeling a lump form in her throat and looked at Jack. She recognized the look on his face, she had seen it a million times before but she hadn't seen it in decades not like that not with such depth. He looked at her with such loving concern that she couldn't handle it and she broke. Irina had cried in the resent past simple tears and a tight chest but now she sobbed.

Once the tears began she couldn't stop them and she could barely breath. Jack walked over to her quickly and held her. He stroked her hair and told her that everything would be fine. His tender affection didn't help with the tears and caused Irina to cry harder.

She cried over everything and everyone. She cried for the pain she had caused Jack and all the time and trust that had been lost between them. She cried over all the time she lost with her daughters and the emptiness they had grown up with because of her actions. She cried because she was so afraid about her baby growing up with the same loss. She cried for her father who she wished could be one to hold her. She cried for the disappointment she knew her actions had caused and the hurt it had brought to both of her parents. She cried over her sisters and the part they had played in her life. The lengths Katya had gone to protect her and the sacrifices it had meant. And the pain Elena had caused by leading her in to a life of espionage, taking her daughter and torturing her entire family. But mostly she cried for herself. All the things she had missed and all the poor decisions she had made. She wanted desperately to make things right, she knew she never could make up for her mistakes but she feared she would never have the chance to make the slightest improvements.

"Irina," Jack whispered holding tightly to her convulsing body. "It's okay. It's alright."

Jack did not know what was wrong with Irina. He could remember only twice in their entire relationship that she had cried so much. Once when she pregnant with Sydney and again when Sydney started kindergarten. Jack had never been good with emotional situations and it killed him to watch Irina so upset.

"Irina, I love you. And what you said yesterday…..about Laura. You're not just a body Irina, you are so much more. Laura was only a name. I love you. I've always loved you: your body, your mind, your soul, your brilliance. It was you who gave me everything I've ever wanted Irina."

"Jack," Irina gasped trying to stop herself from crying. "Jack I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I forgive you." Jack said for the first time and actually believing it. "I forgive you."

"Here you go," Jack said handing Irina a glass of water.

"Just what I need - more water," Irina said with a small smile. "After two hours I think I've cried every ounce of water from my body. Thank you."

"Are you feeling better?" Jack asked sitting down next to Irina brushing her hair out of her face.

"Yeah, I don't know what happened. Just every… everything just imploded. Seeing you watch me…." Irina said turning and looking in Jack's eyes and racing her hand through his hair. "I never thought you'd look at me like that again."

"I never thought I would," Jack admitted with a small smile. "But I have this problem of finding you completely irresistible."

"Is that so?"

"For better or worse." Jack said standing up and walking over to his jacket.

"What are you doing?" Irina asked curiously watching Jack walk over to his luggage.

"I saw this one day….years ago actually," Jack said returning to Irina. "I don't really know what processed me to buy it but I did. It was when we were in Barcelona. You went to a rare book store to get one of your books. I went in to this antique store and found this."

"What is it?"

Jack pulled a small box out of the bag and opened it revealing a diamond incrusted ring.

"Oh my…. Jack," Irina gasped.

"Irina," Jack began getting down on one knee.

"Jack…."

"I love you Irina. I've wanted you from the moment I saw you on campus and I've loved you since I first heard your laugh."

Irina smiled helplessly as Jack recited a slightly revised version of the proposal he had made nearly thirty years earlier.

"I want to be with you forever and a day Irina. I want to wake up with you in my arms every morning and hold you in my arms every night. You're the only woman I've ever wanted and the only one I will ever love. You complete me. You give me purpose. I want to grow old with you," Jack said with a knowing smile. "I want to have a family with you. I want you to be Mrs. Bristow. I want you to be my wife. I love you with everything I am Irina Derevko, will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," Irina replied as Jack placed the ring on Irina's finger.

Leaning over Jack gently kissed Irina's lips. "Although technically we are already married."

"We are aren't we," Irina agreed giving him another kiss.

"So I really just want you to stay."

"I see, there's a tracker in this ring," Irina teased.

"I should have thought that," Jack said with his boyish grin. "I just want everyone to know that you belong to me."

"I belong to you huh?"

"Yeah," Jack said kissing her again but much more passionately.

"Jack-" Irina said breathlessly pulling away.

"Irina-" Jack whispered moving closer to her.

"Really Jack," Irina said kissing him once again before pulling back. "I can't."

"Can't what?" Jack asked nervously.

"We can't ….you know." Irina said with a knowing glance. "The baby and my heart - I can't."

"Oh," Jack replied unable to hide all of his disappointment. "I forgot."

"You sure you still want me?"

"Always," Jack said extending his hand and messaging Irina's abdomen. "How is the baby?"


	34. Chapter 34

-1"So Dad said he wanted to be alone with Mom huh?" Nadia said after they finished breakfast and the boys had gone off to do their own thing.

"Yep. That's what he said."

"What do you think they're doing?"

"I don't know. Dad seemed serious but not angry. I really don't know," Sydney said taking a deep breath. "It's weird them being together. I never thought they'd be together."

"I think it's great," Nadia replied trying to read her sister. "Don't you?"

"Well, yeah but…."

"But?" Nadia prompted.

"But I don't know. It's just a lot. I mean Mom's here and she's been here unguarded for months and she's pregnant and I don't know…" Sydney trailed again.

"You're suspicious?" Nadia asked recalling Sydney's concerns about Sloane.

Sydney could sense her sister's thought and was quick to clarify. "I don't think Mom is up to anything necessarily but something is going on with her and Dad and it's….something."

"Sydney. Maybe things are just going to be okay. I know you think I'm just being naïve and overly optimistic but I truly believe Mom and Dad love each other. I honestly believe we could be a real family."

Sydney couldn't help but feel the twinge of doubt. She decided not to talk about it with her sister when another thought occurred to her.

"Oh my God."

"What is it?"

"I didn't get any gifts. I didn't get anything for anyone," Sydney cried. "I've busy and….I don't know I haven't celebrated Christmas in years really. I mean really celebrated."

"You're right. Neither have I," Nadia replied her face falling. "The thought never even occurred to me. I don't even know what to get or where to get it or who to buy for. Seriously Sydney I was so excited at the thought of getting to meet Dad's family I never even thought about actually meeting them or bringing gifts."

"It's okay," Sydney said going in to official problem solving mode. "There's a mall in a nearby suburb, Somerset. We can go there and get stuff for everyone. It shouldn't be too hard for JR, Bree, Keri, and Ryan gift cards should be great. A sweater for Aunt Cate, a piece of jewelry for Aunt Nancy and Nana. I don't know what to get Grandpa but he shouldn't be hard - anything not involving technology or socks."

"What about Mom and Dad?"

"I haven't a clue," Sydney confessed. "I usually buy Dad ties and I'm not even sure he wears them."

"At least you have a standard. I have nothing," Nadia said turning white. "I've never bought a parent a gift. And I just met them both."

"How do you think I've feel. I've known our father my entire life and have no idea. What time is it?"

"Ten," Nadia replied checking her watch.

"Alright. We probably definitely have to be back at the hotel by 6 because we're suppose to go to Aunt Cate's at 8 and then midnight mass," Sydney said standing up and grabbing her purse. "That gives us about 6 hours if we don't have too many troubles with traffic."

"Let's go."

Sydney and Nadia shopped until they absolutely had to leave. They had even reached a point in the mall where they decided to buy whatever they could find and decide who to give it to later. This became particularly relevant when they remembered Vaughn and Weiss and their grandmother. They didn't expect to see Anastasia but they had a feeling if she knew they had bought something for Brooke and not for her she would not be happy.

Back at the hotel room they decided one of them would categorize what they had bought while the other would get ready for the evening and then switch. It was decided that Nadia would sort the gifts and then Sydney would preliminarily assign them to who they would give them to.

The plan worked great until they reached their parents. They had a variety of options, clothing, books, music, electronics, food, lotions, everything but they had no idea what to give. They also didn't know what to do about their expectant sister.

"So should we wrap something for the baby or no?" Sydney asked looking at the Piglet plush toy and jumper they had picked out.

"I don't know. She's not born yet and Mom and Dad don't really mention anything about it," Nadia replied hopelessly.

"I know. Don't you find that strange?" Sydney asked becoming distracted. "That Mom would hide the pregnancy for long and I don't even think she told Dad. Which begs the question why?"

"Sydney we can analyze our mother another time. We have a half hour before we have to meet them for downstairs and who knows what time we'll get back tonight or if we'll have time to figure out what to give them before Christmas tomorrow," Nadia said firmly.

"You're right. Sorry. Yea or Nay on Baby Bristow…Derevko?"

"Abstention for now," Nadia voted helplessly. "Who will be easier Mom or Dad?"

"Let's flip a coin," Sydney said pulling out a quarter. "Call it."

"Tails for Mom."

"Mom it is," Sydney said tossing the coin aside. "Well first off. How many gifts? Or price limit? A variety or what?"

"I beginning to hate Christmas."

"Me too," Sydney agreed already discouraged. "Mom likes to read."

"So books?"

"I think we have to give her more than a book."

"Yeah. We don't really have clothes to give her. She doesn't seem big on jewelry. Lotions?"

"We have that butter cream stuff she could use on stretch marks," Sydney said content with what they had so far. "We could give her some cds - I've got it. I know what to get them."


	35. Chapter 35

-1"Where are Michael and Eric?" Irina asked as the girls walked up to her at the lobby. She smiled as she saw what they were wearing; Sydney wore a satin purple dress and Nadia a blue one.

"They're out on the town," Sydney replied. "They thought it might be best for it to just be us for tonight. They'll come tomorrow."

"Where's Dad?" Nadia asked looking around for her father.

"He's getting the car." Irina said buttoning up her coat.

"What's that?" Sydney asked noticing something shining on her mother's finger.

Irina grinned as she glanced at her finger.

"My Christmas gift from your father. Speaking of whom, the car is here."

Both girls were speechless when they got in to the car and Nadia was the first to recover.

"You're engaged?"

"They noticed my ring," Irina explained to Jack.

"Ah, I see. Well, we're not exactly engaged since we are already married," Jack explained. "So I guess you could say we're just really married now."

"Really married?" Nadia beamed elbowing Sydney.

"Really?" Sydney asked elbowing her sister back.

"Really." Irina said happily.

Everyone was quiet for awhile comprehending Irina and Jack's news.

"Do you have any questions Nadia?" Jack asked as they got off the highway and one step closer to his sisters.

"Not that I can think of." Nadia said turning in to agent mode. "It's your sister's house, your family. Mom survived the accident but had amnesia and didn't remember you guys. We lived in Virginia. Mom was an editor for a publisher. I went to Roosevelt Elementary School, Frost Middle School and Churchill High school. Mom began to get her memory back and we did research and learned that you and Sydney lived in California so we Mom got a transfer and I applied to UCLA studying international relations…….I'm nervous."

"It'll be fine," Jack assured.

"It'll be okay," Sydney reaffirmed. "But-"

"But?" Nadia repeated nervously.

"You should probably lose the accent."

"Oh, right," Nadia said taking a deep breath. "Is this better?"

"Perfect," Sydney said giving her sister a nod of encouragement.

"We're here," Jack said pulling in to the driveway. Jack took Irina's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of encouragement. "You okay?" he whispered.

"I'm fine," Irina replied pushing her hair behind her ears.

Sydney and Jack were the first to get out of the car and Irina and Nadia shortly followed.

"You alright Sweetheart?" Irina asked Nadia.

"I think so."

"It's okay to be scared. I'm scared too," Irina confided with a smile.


	36. Chapter 36

-1When Sydney and Nadia woke up the next morning both girls were concerned about what they saw. They had gone to bed very late after they returned to the hotel. It was decided everyone would get up at 9 Christmas morning and to finish their parent's gifts Sydney and Nadia were up until 6. But when they woke up in the morning they were not in the same room they feel asleep in.

"Nadia?" Sydney called over to her sister in the next bed. "Nadia?"

"Yeah?" Nadia asked groggily.

"Wake up!" Sydney cried.

"What?" Nadia asked opening her eyes and sitting up. "Where are we?"

"I don't know. Are we dreaming?"

"I don't know. You woke me up," Nadia reminded. "Let's see what's going on."

"Yeah," Sydney said getting out of bed and thankfully finding her gun still in her makeup case.

Cautiously the girls left their room but they were quick to stop in their tracks. They weren't in a hallway they were in a great foyer. The room was elaborately decorated with for the holiday lights, garland, flowers were everywhere and in the center of the room was a enormous tree with mounds of presents surrounding it.

"Morning sleepyheads," Irina greeted smiling from the couch.

"Morning Syd," Vaughn greeted walking over and giving her a kiss. "Your grandmother was about to send us in to get you."

"What is this?" Sydney asked in disbelief looking around the room.

"There you girls are!" Anastasia greeted entering the room followed by her father who carried a tray of coffee mugs. "Are those guns?"

"Well…." Nadia and Sydney replied bashfully.

"Come on Auntie they're just being true Derevko girls," Katya said proudly. "And can you blame them waking up in a different room then what they went to sleep in."

"Aunt Katya!" both girls cried in disbelief.

"Merry Christmas, girls," Jack said setting down the tray and giving his daughters a kiss.

"Seriously, what is this? Because it kinda feels like we're dreaming," Sydney asked again.

"A good dream I hope," Irina replied.

"A fantasy," Nadia ensured.

"I think that was your mother's plan," Jack said smiling.

"Mom?" Sydney said surprised.

"I know I haven't been there for you girls," Irina said getting up. "And I can't ever make up for that but I thought maybe we could try for better things."

"Oh Mom," Sydney said through tears embracing Irina.

"Sydney," Irina said tears forming in her eyes. "Come here Nadia."

"Mom," Nadia beamed holding on tightly to her mother.

"Come on girls. You have to be at your aunt's soon and you have a million presents to open," Anastasia said prompting the girls to them.

Suddenly filled with Christmas excitement the sisters rushed to the tree to begin opening their presents. It wasn't hard to find out who's gift was whose as most of the presents under the tree were wrapped in an assortment of purple and blue.

The early presents were fun, littler things. All them nice and they would tell well thought out. After a while of opening gifts the girls felt it was only fair to give other a shot. They let the boys open the gifts from the girls and they loved them. Then Katya and Anastasia opened their presents from Irina and girls. Irina and Jack opened a couple of their presents from the girls. And then came the real presents for the day.

Jack stood up and walked over to the tree picking up two small boxes and handing them to the girls. "So Nadia, Sydney will surely attest I'm not that great of a gift giver but this is an attempt."

"I'm sure it's great," Nadia said smiling.

Opening the boxes at the same time the girls were surprised at what they saw.

"I thought it would give us a chance to spend time together and learn what the other likes," Jack explained. "Your mother isn't the only one who has things to make up for."

"It perfect Dad," Sydney said holding her Red Wing and Tigers tickets.

"It really is," Nadia concurred becoming misty eyed as she held Tiger and tickets in her hand. "Absolutely perfect."

Jack grinned relieved as his gift went over well.

"Here's our gift to you," Sydney said grabbing Jack's box. "Not really as personal but…."

"I'm sure it's great," Jack assured opening his gift. "What is it?"

"It's an ipod," Nadia replied. "We programmed your favorite songs in it or some of them and some songs we thought you might like. You can listen in the car or at the office - tune out Marshall or whoever."

Jack laughed at the last part and gave each girl a peck on the forehead. "It's great. And definitely personal."

"My turn," Irina said handing the girls her gifts.

Nervously each girl opened their box and gasped at what they saw. Carefully they both pulled out a bundle of letters.

"I wrote these to you on your birthday's every year. I've always said the truth takes time and as I'm often reminded," Irina said glancing at her mother. "That the time is now. Of course it won't answer all your questions but I hope it will at clear how much I love you girls and that even though I wasn't there, you two were always the first in my mind."

"We love Mom," Sydney said setting down her letters and giving Irina a hug.

"Yeah, it's perfect Mom," Nadia said brushing tears from her face. "Here. We got you this."

"Oh, thank you," Irina said opening her present.

"We were working on it till pretty late so…"

"It's perfect," Irina said through tears as she looked through the calendar that had the important dates of each girl's life marked and pictures at each of the months. "How did you do this?"

"Beauty of technology and digital photography," Sydney explained.

"It's really perfect." Irina repeated feeling a mixture of joy and heartache at the sight of her girls through the years.

"Well this is a perfect time to give you my gift," Anastasia interrupted. "Here we go."

"Me too?" Jack said in surprise as Anastasia handed him a box as well.

"Yuletide miracle," Anastasia replied with a sly smile as she handed boxes to Vaughn and Eric.

"A camera," Nadia said as she was the first to open the gift.

"Now we'll all be able to keep our memories."

"Thanks Ambassador," Eric said pleased to see that he was being counted as one of the family.

"Say cheese Grandmother," Sydney said snapping a photo of Anastasia.

"I don't say cheese Dear!" Anastasia scolded playfully.

"There are still a couple presents under the tree," Nadia noticed.

"So there are," Irina observed smiling.

"Irina and Jack," Katya read off the labels. "Who's first?"

"Irina can open hers," Jack said handing the package to his wife.

Carefully Irina unwrapped the gift that revealed a leather bound first edition of Tchaikovsky's War and Peace. "Thank you, Jack."

"Open it up," Jack suggested watching Irina carefully.

Obediently, Irina opened the book and found what she hoped she would: To Irina, All My Love Forever and A Day…. Love Jack.

"Thank you," Irina said leaning over and kissing Jack.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now it's your turn," Irina said handing Jack a small box.

Jack smiled as he opened the box to reveal a simple silver ring.

"Read it," Irina prompted quietly.

Jack pulled out the ring and read the engraving: Always Yours- Irina.

"Do I have to put it on myself?"

Gently Irina took Jack's hand and slid the ring on his hand as their family quietly looked on.

"I love you Jonathan Bristow," Irina whispered giving him a kiss.

"I love you too Irina Derevko."

"Bristow," Irina corrected.

"Bristow?" Jack repeated.

"I've decided I don't need to be a Derevko anymore."

Jack grinned at the reply and happily corrected himself. "Irina Bristow."


	37. Chapter 37

-1"You really didn't have to come with me to the office," Jack told Irina as they entered APO headquarters.

"Nonsense. I have no where else to be," Irina said setting down her purse in the otherwise empty office. "Although I think you should take advantage the holiday vacation. You work so much during the year. A few days off isn't the end of the world."

"It could be and you of all people should know that," Jack said looking at Irina knowingly. "I haven't been to the office in three days, everyone comes back tomorrow and I have to make sure everything is prepared. But that is because I'm the director, you, however, don't have to."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Never. I just don't want to keep you here. It was a long flight and a long weekend. You can go home and rest."

"I would except I don't quite know where home is these days. Am I going to my Mom's or…."

"We haven't talked about living arrangements yet have we?"

"Not so much. No," Irina said shaking her head.

"Alright. I'll try to be quick and then we can discuss where we're going to live," Jack said as they entered his office.

"Good. I'll do some work too since I'm here. It' will be my gift to the CIA."

Irina and Jack worked for hours before Irina became too disinterested to continue.

"Any chance I can seduce you in to leaving the office?" Irina asked walking over to Jack as he sat at his desk.

"Maybe," Jack replied slyly pulling Irina in to his lap.

"I'm going to crush you," Irina reminded adjusting herself in Jack's lap.

"I'll gladly be crushed." Jack said messaging Irina's abdomen. "How is the baby?"

"She's fine. More active every day."

"How are you feeling?"

"Less active everyday," Irina joked. "I'm feeling pretty good."

"Good," Jack said playing with the ring on Irina's hand. "Do you want to dance?"

"Dance?"

"Yeah."

"You're just trying to get me off your lap," Irina said standing up. "There isn't any music."

"But you're wrong. I happen to have a hundred songs in my coat pocket," Jack said pulling out his ipod.

"Do you know how to work that?" Irina asked suspiciously.

"One I'm a highly-trained intelligence professional," Jack reminded. "And two, the girls showed me."

"Ah," Irina said chuckling.

"Here we go," Jack said as he set the song and took Irina in his arms. "Come here,"

"I love this song," Irina said holding on to Jack.

"Agent Bristow?" Director Chase called as she entered Jack's office.

"Oh God," Irina mumbled under her breath.

"Director Chase." Jack said coolly letting go of Irina.

"What are you doing here?" Agent Chase asked suspiciously.

"You're a director for the CIA and you can't figure out what we're doing?" Irina asked sardonically.

"Derevko," Chase said in a warning tone.

"Bristow," Irina happily corrected, pleased to spar with the CIA official.

"Pardon me?"

"It's Bristow. Irina Bristow." Irina said holding up her hand to reveal her ring.

"What are you two doing here?" Chase asked again ignoring Irina and looking at Jack.

"I came in to do work. We became distracted. Why are you here?" Jack asked.

"I heard someone had come in to the office and I wanted to see who it was since you requested the office close for a briefly extended weekend."

"Irina and I are the only two people here I assure you."

"For some reason that doesn't leave me with a whole lot of comfort."

"That's your problem then isn't it," Jack replied curtly. "I was doing my job Chase, if you a complaint bring it to Langley. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my vacation with my wife."

"Excuse us," Irina said smugly walking past Chase.


End file.
